Quotes About Humor

People who know me, they know I have a sense of humor, I'm a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown really, and I would love someone to exploit that side of me and send me a romantic comedy.

There's no way to stand up gracefully when your pants are down around your ankles.

I missed the good old days when phones were sturdy enough to be pounded for emphasis.

Elvis is in the kitchen and he's making eggs Benedict!

Romantic comedies are particularly hard to make.

Sometimes I get a little sad, and I feel like being alone. Then I talk to my cat about it, and he reminds me I'm James Franco. Then we dance.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

How Do you spell relax?" I whispered, holding his head with my hands. I think the answer is f-u-c-k-m-e." He answered.

Prince Charming can go suck rocks. I've met my true love and he's a contractor

Don't count your chickens before they turn into KFC

It was never wise to challenge fate to a Hold my beer contest.

already she drew in the sand with her big toe: King Solomon, as though he were a rubber ball, an apocalyptic, bearded herring, an imperial walking-stick, an amalgam, half chicken and half Solomon.

And that was when I learned from my own experience that a laugh can be a terrifying weapon. With a laugh you can kill even murder itself.

But, to begin with, I am incapable of jokes, for every joke contains a lie as an implicit function.

I simply can't make jokes - the default value of every joke is a lie.

Here I saw, with my own eyes, that laughter was the most terrible weapon: you can kill anything with laughter - even murder itself.

The younger sweepers in the department joked behind Shaokang's back that he loved the brooms as his own children, but Mrs. Hua saw nothing wrong in that and knew that the joke would come only from young people who understood little of parenthood.

I didn't really say everything I said.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

A lot of guys go, 'Hey, Yog, say a Yogi-ism.' I tell 'em, 'I don't know any.' They want me to make one up. I don't make 'em up. I don't even know when I say it. They're the truth. And it is the truth. I don't know.

I really didn't say everything I said.

I don't mean to be funny.