Quotes About Humor

Laughter was the most terrible weapon: you can kill anything with laughter.

I got a few gray hairs to testify to my wisdom, two grand babies, and a long, black dildo named Harry.

People who go to bed with itchy bums wake up with smelly fingers

Go and copulate with yon purple lizard.

Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects.

The trouble with emergencies is," she said, "that I always put on my finest underwear and then nothing happens.

My goal as a writer is to move people, to make them laugh and cry, and I'm gratified when I succeed. But I didn't invent the humor in recovery. It's already there. There's a tremendous amount of laughter at a good AA meeting.

The Book of Chuang Tzu is like a travelogue. As such, it meanders between continents, pauses to discuss diet, gives exchange rates, breaks off to speculate, offers a bus timetable, tells an amusing incident, quotes from poetry, relates a story, cites scripture. To try and make it read like a novel or a philosophical handbook is simply to ask it, this travelogue of life, to do something it was never designed to do. And always listen out for the mocking laughter of Chuang Tzu.

I think any dad who slices a large pickle in two for their kids' sandwich is always a good dad!

I planted some jokes in my wedding. Like, the organizers asked me to select music. So when I approached wife at the ceremony, they played the second movement from Shostakovich's 10th Symphony, which is usually known as the "portrait of Stalin." And then when we embraced, the music that they played was Schubert's "Death and the Maiden." I enjoyed this in a childish way! But marriage was all a nightmare and so on and so on.

Thanks," he said. "De nada," said Julius. "What does that mean?" said Charlie. "It's nothing, in Spanish." said Julius. "I mean, it means nothing, the word nothing, not that it doesn't mean anything, though of course it doesn't mean anything, it means something: it means nothing. Nothing is what it means. Not that it doesn't mean anything." "No, it means nothing, I know what you mean." said Charlie with a straight face. They started to giggle.

She felt, rather than saw, his eyes on her, the interplay of determination and, oddly, humor. "You aren't taking another step on this journey of yours without me. Someone's got to knit the socks.

I used to know a woman named Anita Hurl," Lizbeth said. "Get it? I need to hurl?

A life without trouble and tragedy is boring and not a plot for comedy.

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does!

I could be a housewife… I guess I've vacuumed a couple of times.

People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church. —Mrs. Miracle

Your like Martha Stewart on crack," my neighbor shouted as I stuck another cardinal in with the daisies.

Does this dress make me fat?" "Of course it does. Don't you own a mirror?

Couldn't I just take up juggling fire over a pit of alligators?" Liam muttered. "I think it might be easier.

You guys must use some interesting parenting techniques." "You have no idea," Liam said dryly. "You have no idea.

Son, if you were any farther from fine you'd be in Nebraska.

Not really riding weather, is it, miss? Unless you're a duck." He chuckled at his own joke. "Quack," Jenna said...

My brother, are you aware that you are presently taking the form of a rather large and distinctly emerald-hued bear? Not that it isn't an improvement on your usual excessive good lucks, but...