Quotes About Humor

Turns out that sometimes, faith and a sense of humor really can be all you need.

That much sexual tension makes me want to hump a phone pole, and that's just not attractive in a pregnant woman.

Jared's lips quirked up. "Are you sure Benji won't greet me in the morning with a shotgun?" "Not if you make him french toast. He'll totally sell me out for someone who cooks.

Kaden gave another one of those unexpected barks of humor. "Yeah. And I'm telling you, my sister is a shameless, shameless woman, and she swears by the guy in bed. If you ever feel like taking that stick out of your ass, you may want to rethink your stand on him. I understand he's like a religious experience.

Well, therapy was cheap and easy if you didn't mind walking it in the snow to poop.

Seriously, Jackson, you dropped a monster on our lap, and then a leviathan jumped out of the toilet and ate it." Jackson chuckled a little at the image. "Well, it was a monster, Mira. Let's hope the leviathan wins.

You're gay!" she shrilled, and he pulled the phone away from his ear. "How in the hell do you know you're gay?" He smiled a little to himself. It was sort of private information, but he figured he owed her a little after the last four months. "Because when I look at pictures of naked men, my penis goes off like a roman candle," he said frankly, and that was when she hung up.

It looks like two alpacas fucking, mostly," he said apologetically. "Of course, sometimes, the boy can't get his boy parts past the girl's furry ass, and he needs a little help, so then it looks like two alpacas fucking while their handler's giving the one on top a handjob.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well you're not bad-looking, but you've got that stick up your ass and I always top. It'd get crowded, trust me.

Yeah, well you're not bad-looking, but you've got that stick up your ass and I always top. It'd get crowded, trust me. Now

You've completely managed my life for the next twelve hours. Why do you have that 'nipple-clamp' expression on your face?

Think the gift shop has something that doesn't look like . . . like . . ." "Like a cum rag in a clown orgy?

Someone once called fate "the only cosmic force with a tragic sense of humor,

Poor Craw?" Ben retorted. "Poor Rory! Craw and Ari curse worse than a trucker shagging a sailor.

Yeah, here I am, oh mighty ass-reaming sky-daddy! Here I am! Fucking offering my goddamned penance! Prostrating myself before you, and you know the fun thing? The laugh-riot thing? The goddammit all, God's gonna laugh until he pisses on us thing?

Cock Cheese?" Jackson had been busy with flying paperweights. Yikes—busy week! "Couldn't have happened to sweeter smegma.

What if he bites someone?" "He hardly chews his food.

dangly bits,

It needed a cock cozy, or Crawford's mouth, just to keep it warm.

After a murmur of general assent, Ariadne spoke up. "And oh my God, I have to pump my boobs. You guys, you don't even know. It's like having blue balls strapped to your chest!" After a horrified silence, the men practically ran screaming from the building.

I hope so. Watch Dane. Mom's going to go get some Kool-Aid for both of us." Mason would figure out later that Mom's Kool-Aid had a healthy dollop of vodka, but then, who could blame her at that point?

He jerked upright, moved his swollen ankle injudiciously, and let out a sound like Snoopy getting hit in the balls. "Alggghhh….

No man in the history of ever has turned down a blowjob," he gritted.

You are being such a dick as to make a real dick look like a labia minora