Quotes About Humor

My Favorite Husband,

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

Why?" Kieran grinned. "'Cause you can't dance, it's too wet to plow, and it's a little windy to be stacking chickens.

I love a girl that can make me laugh. I am not really a laugh-at-things type of guy and I don't smile and laugh all the time... But if a girl can make me laugh... I'm in love!!!!

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

I could have sexual chemistry with vinegar.

Have you made your selections?" Um, yeah, Gray thought. I'll have the total body meltdown with a side of what-the-hell-was-I-thinking. She, evidently, will be having the sex-goddess pot pie.

Jesus Christ. It is way too early to talk about dick sizes and which way they curve.". . ."But for the record, he's massive and as straight as you pretended to be in high school.

Sire," Oliver said as he helped Petunia to her feet, "I'd like to marry Petunia. "Of course you would," retorted the King Gregor. "But not right now! we just got those two taken care of." He pointed to the twins who were still trying to play Christian's odd game. "And weddings are expensive!

I already have a plan." Celie said, raising her hand as she would with her tutor. "Do you?" Rolf's eyes gleamed. "What is it?" "I don't think you'll like it, Lilah." Celie apologized straightaway. "It involves manure...a great deal of manure." Rolf started to laugh again.

Earnest young knights are my favorite. I love the looks on their faces when they realize that they're being slow-cooked in their own armor.

Then they both laughed, because it was ludicrous to think that unicorns could be horrible in any way.

I was on my way to work the other day, and I guess I got too close to someone's car, because the alarm started going off. I didn't want them to come back and be confused as to why it was going off, so I threw a brick through the windshield. I figured that would explain it.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Happy New Year, Julie." "Happy New Year, Matty." She turned off the television and rolled onto her side. "Matty, I have another question for you." "Uh-oh." "Are you a skilled lover?" "And that concludes our evening chat.

I hope that someday they invent a car that runs on inappropriate thoughts

There are three kinds of people: those who are good at math and those who aren't.

Now, anybody who's seen me sing or even tell a joke knows I have the facial expressions of Jim Carrey.

My Macbook is my new boyfriend, except that he's dependable and meets all my demands.

If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover!

What exactly did we learn in kindergarten? Nothing we wouldn't have learned if we;d stayed home. Okay, we learned that sometimes, by the time you get to the bathroom, it's too late.

Some day perhaps our time will be known as the age of irony. Not the witty irony of the eighteenth century, but the stupid or malignant irony of a crude age of technological progress and cultural regression.

Armastus teeb naise teravmeelseks, mehe aga võtab juhmiks.

We don't act like that because we are in good humor; we are in a good humor because otherwise we should go to pieces.