Quotes About Humor

What's the difference between an undead and my last boyfriend? One is a soul-sucking beast from hell and the other is an undead.

Sinjin was sitting bare-chested with Petra's blue feather boa wrapped around his neck and draped over his shoulder. His long dark curls had been teased and sprayed into a sexy mane. Heavy black eyeliner rimmed his eyes. "Am I not gorgeous? I want to snog myself. I'm like a postmodern Lord Byron." "You put the ironic in Byronic," Petra quipped. "Well said, luv.

Sam. Don't make me kill you on a full stomach. I might get a cramp.

Hold up. How do you accidentally have sex with somebody? Adina scoffed. Is she all, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't s ee your penis there'? Tiara squealed and waved her hands. Don't say that word! What? Accidentally? Sorry? Penis? Gah! Tiara put her fingers in her ears. What about phallic? Petra teased. Like, 'Yon volcano is quite phallic, Lady Tiara.' Tiara looked confused. Phallic means penis-like, Petra explained. Ooh, Tiara said.

Miss New Mexico stared, dumbfounded. Stand out? Stand out? I have a freaking tray stuck in my forehead! She broke into fresh sobs. Taylor clapped for attention. Miss New Mexico, let's not get all down in the bummer basement where the creepy things live. There are people in heathen China who don't even have airline trays. We have a lot to be grateful for.

I told him Friday was a different religious occasion: Doctor Who . Hey, it's not my fault they don't have TiVo yet.

So, ah, who's the lucky girl?" Sam asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. When Jericho ignored him, Sam grabbed one of Jericho's Civil War soldier figurines and held it up to his mouth. "Oh, Jericho," he said in a high-pitched voice. "Take me in your arms, you big he-man, you!" "Please put General Meade back in Gettysburg. You're changing the course of the war. And it's just a date.

Sometimes, Johannes would pop his head in the filing room and ask, Need anything? 'Yes. I would like you to ravage me here on the floor and swear your undying love to me.'No. Thanks. I'm good.

Tell him I went to the lavatory," Evie said with a roll of her eyes. "Men are pos-i-tute-ly paralyzed by the mention of females in lavatories.

Favor não grudar na minha traseira: corpo no porta-malas.

The only thing I'm trying to steal is your heart, doll." Sam smirked. "You're not that talented a thief, Sam Lloyd.

Go on, darling," she said, batting her lashes. "Tell them the rest." "Riiiight," Sam said, suppressing a smirk.

Next I know, I'll be calling myself the queen of Romania and wandering down the lane wearing my bed linens for a cape.

Miss Teen Dreamers. It is time to get ahold of ourselves. Miss Alabama, I did not mean that literally. That is gross. Stop it." Taylor

Ling's smile was big and goofy. Henry whistled. That smile of yours is a real beauty. Ling shook her head, letting her hair cover her face. It's stupid. Right. What I meant to say is, that stupid smile of yours is a real beauty. This time, Ling actually giggled. The creature laughs! Henry said. I'm not such a killjoy! Actually, you are. A bit. Hey!

So, what's your type? Gonzo asks a few minutes later. ... Staci Johnson. Dude, I feel like I need to shave my insides when you say that.

No. I like my girls fully conscious when I kiss 'em. I'm funny that way

I can't stay long. I told my mother I was attending an evening Mass with Henry and Evie at St. Patrick's Cathedral. Henry put a hand to his chest in faux shock. You used the Lord to lie to them? I'll just stand over here in case you're struck by lightning.

Lilian Jackson Braun

That clan always had deep pockets and shorrrt arrrms.

What?" he demanded testily. Trammell raised his eyebrows. "I didn't say anything." "You're thinking something, though. You've got that shit-eating smirk on your face." "Why would anyone smirk while they eat shit?" Trammell asked rhetorically.

Do you know why men name their cocks? No, why? she asked, trying to stifle her laughter. So most of the major decisions in their lives won't be made by a total stranger.

It's not something I can control, damn it. Every man I know wakes up with a hard-on." "Maybe so, but they do not – repeat, do not - rub it on me." " 'Every man I know' wasn't rubbing it on you! It was just me!" "And it was just your hair that I pulled, wasn't it?" she asked sweetly.

You have underwear. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Did you try it on? Nah. Just rubbed it against my face.