Quotes About Humor

That's some moon Stop talking about my ass, you beast.

Who the heck is Don Quick-oats?

Reason was for suckers and Presbyterians.

Oh shit! Can you say 'fuck' in a graveyard or will it jinx you with the undead?

Okay. That's fair. Abso-tive-ly fair. Let's say the tables were turned. If I were about to walk off a cliff, what would you do?" Evie pursed her lips. "Push?" "I don't believe that." "You would on the way down.

Agent Jones held Sinjin's face in his hands. "I'm going to make balloon animals. People need balloon animals." "How right you are, strange delusional man," Sinjin said.

Feast for the Fisherman, the ultimate emo band. Said to be sold with a complimentary prescription for antidepressants and a free flatiron.

Dead bodies are such trouble," Evie said with a little sigh, and Mabel had to turn her head away so as not to laugh.

I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth." "If I were the last man on earth it'd be because you drove the other poor suckers to early graves.

They misspelled 'party.' How evil genius can they be?

New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants.

Sometimes when Sam's pretending to be in love with me, my stomach does funny things. Well, get some milk of magnesia and stop it.

because really, sometimes the irony gods just get drunk.

You evah hear of a magic screw?' I cough back a laugh. 'No. No, sir.

Writers are also sort of like vultures, but with fewer ethics.

Even Felicity can't keep from sputtering with laughter. I wish I could use my evil eye. Or at least my evil boot right smack against Cecily's backside.

He's got a laugh like a machine gun firing through velvet.

We'll have to make the chumps believe it. Moonlight strolls. Staring into each other's eyes. Sharing the same straw in our egg cream. Dreadful pet names." "Not Lamb Chop," Evie protested. "That's hideous." "You got it, Pork Chop." "I will murder you in your sleep." Sam grinned. "Does that mean you're sleeping beside me?" "Not on your life, Lloyd.

Greetings, ax murderer! I was just wondering how you like your eggs?

I thought I was having an existential crisis, but it was nothing. Please don't tailgate: body in trunk.

Yes, after all, if I were to join you, I might enjoy myself, and wouldn't that be a shame? Please, don't spare me another thought.

That's what he always did, tell a joke or find someone else when things began to feel like something genuine. Well, he was tired of feeling haunted - by Louis, by his father's disappointment, and his mother's illness. He'd let himself fill up with ghosts of shame until there was no room for love. No more. No more.

Sam grabbed one of Jericho's Civil War soldier figurines and held it up to his mouth. Oh, Jericho, he said in a high-pitched voice. Take me in your arms, you big he-man, you!

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were fascinating relics from an archaeological dig. I note that their shoulders are trembling, and I realize that they are fighting laughter over my terrible plight. There's friendship for you.