Quotes About Humor

Well, you've done it now, was her sisterly opening shot. Jaine rubbed between her eyebrows; a definite headache was forming. After the exchange with David, she waited to see where this one was going. I won't be able to hold up my head in church. Really? Oh, Shelley, I'm so sorry, Jaine said sweetly. I didn't realize you have the dreaded Limp Neck disease. When were you diagnosed?

Know why PMS is called PMS?" "Don't you dare," she threatened. "Only women can tell PMS jokes." "Because 'mad cow disease' was already taken.

C'mon! Anything over eight inches is strictly for show-and-tell. It's there, but you can't use it. It might look good in a locker room, but let's face it—those extra two inches are leftovers." "Leftovers," Luna gasped, holding her stomach and shrieking with laughter. "Let's hear it for l-leftovers!

Jason is one of those people who is like a Slinky; you always smile when you think of watching him fall down the stairs.

She glanced at her watch. He'd been massaging his legs for half an hour. I think that's enough, she said firmly. Don't you want to go back to bed? He straightened up in the wheelchair and his teeth flashed in a grin. Baby, I'm so tired of that bed, the only way you could get me back in it would be if you crawled in there with me.

She smiled in the darkness. "It is a magic dick," she teased, hoping she could get a laugh out of him. "No magic involved. It's just angles and self-control, honey, angles and self-control. But you can think I have a magic dick as long as you want to.

It's daylight. Shouldn't you have burned to a crisp, or something? Don't you have to crawl into a coffin? Where do you keep it stashed, anyway? I've never owned a coffin, he admitted, unable to hold back a smile.

Chloe said the first thing that popped into her head., I don't sleep with dead guys... Luca gave her an amused look. Good. I'm not dead. Never have been.... I'm immortal.

You found a pen?" "No, but I have a can of Cheez Whiz. I'll write your number on the counter with it, then find a pen and copy it.

Good God. he said incredulously. You've got a black belt in purse attack, that's for damn sure.

here, to tempt you into a kiss. I've become a shameless hussy. Aunt Ardith would have disowned me." "Aunt Ardith sounds like a pain in the—" "She was wonderful," Mary said firmly. "It's just that she was very old-fashioned and had strict notions of what was proper and what

In the rest room next door there was a long, explosive sound of gas releasing, then a contented 'Ahhh.' Grace clapped a hand over her mouth to hold back the hysterical giggle that rose in her throat. She had to finish before he did, or he might hear her. The competition was the strangest in which she'd ever engaged.

Daisy was still lingering in the kitchen when they arrived, and when she saw Steven she shook a wooden spoon at him. "I raised this chile to be a good girl," she warned. "Don't you go messin' with her, hear?" The beginnings of a grin quirked Steven's lips, but he didn't quite give in to it. "Yes, ma'am," he said. Emma

Thanks for everything, Daisy," he said, and as he passed the big woman, he kissed her lightly on the cheek. "You're the best cook north of New Orleans." She beamed at the compliment, then made herself glower. "You just get on out of here and stop takin' up my time, you fancy-talkin' man!" Steven

Emma shifted her gaze to Steven, sitting just ahead of her at a table, Garrick Wright beside him. As though sensing her perusal, Steven shifted in his chair to look back at her, and to her utter amazement, he winked. She pursed her lips, amazed that he could take so serious a proceeding so lightly. He mimicked her dour expression, then turned to face the front of the courtroom again. The

Lily, if you don't stop that washing and look at me, I swear I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you inside like a sack of grain." Because

No," Jack struggled to quip, "but

He caught her left hand in his and lifted it so that the diamond sparkled in the firelight. "I see you haven't cut off your finger yet." Lily smiled sleepily. "That would have hurt too much.

I had no idea whether Faustus enjoyed gossip. If not, I could teach him. All you need is curiosity and a sense of humor. He had those.

This probably also means that if and when we ever meet another intelligent life form in this universe, their first words are not likely to be Take me to our leader. They're more likely to say Party on, dude!

No, wait, I drink any more java, I'm gonna start pissing Colombians.

Stop psychoanalyzing me! Be less therapist, more man -- Man? Last time I tried being a man, you looked at me as if I was going to hit you. You don't need a man, Rainie. You either need a blow-up doll or a damn saint!

One sister. Younger, of course. I terrorized her for most of our childhood. On the other hand, every time I fell asleep in the family room, she put makeup on my face and took pictures. So I guess it evens itself out. Plus, I'm the only man you'll ever meet who understands just how hard it is to remove waterproof mascara. And I guess I'll never run for political office. The photos alone would ruin me.

Comedy, we may say, is society protecting itself - with a smile.