Quotes About Humor

I thought I was wrong once, but I found out later that I was mistaken. (Seldom Seen Smith)

Three things my daddy tried to learn me. 'Son', he always said, 'remember these three precepts and you can't go wrong. One, never eat at a place called Mom's. Two, never play cards with a man named Doc.' 'That's only two.' 'I can never recollect the third, and that's what worries me.

the only birds I can recognize without hesitation are the turkey vulture, the fried chicken, and the rosey-bottomed skinny-dipper.

Civilization is tolerance, detachment and humor, or passion, anger, revenge; culture is the entrance examination, the gas chamber, the doctoral dissertation and the electric chair;

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic.

Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind.

Two men are walking in the woods. A ferocious grizzly bear charges at them and they start to run. While running, they shout: Man 1: We'll never outrun the bear. Man 2: I don't have to. My only question is "Can I outrun you?

It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor, since it is a more significant process of mind than reason. Reason can only sort out perceptions, but the humor process is involved in changing them.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

The difference between the Russian character and the Western is that we Russians have learned to live our days in the full knowledge that whatever transpires in the interim, the sun will eventually expand and humanity will be incinerated. It's a way of life precisely opposite to the American Dream. Call is Russian fatalism if you like. But it gives us a sense of perspective, a sense of humor, and perhaps a certain dignity.

If we each told each other our deepest, darkest secrets, we would laugh uproariously at our lack of originality.

Firenza said, "I kind of like Pete. He's a funny guy." "We'll send him a nice wreath," Bocatelli said. "The family will appreciate it.

Ah, the Irish. We're a hopeless lot.

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener.

I'm an incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige me.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Mama Mia, that's a spicy meatball.

Nothing compares to the pain of a belly ache from laughing too hard with your best friend.

You know, I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one… on toast!

I'd stop drinking coffee, but I'm no quitter.

Is it true blondes have more fun?

There was a young man from Trinity, Who solved the square root of infinity. While counting the digits, He was seized by the fidgets, Dropped science, and took up divinity.

Confucius say: "Baseball wrong — man with four balls cannot walk."

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"