Quotes About Humor

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well.

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE

Real programmers don't write in PLI. PLI is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.

There was a young man of Dundoo, Whose limericks stopped at line 2.

Want to make your computer go really fast Throw it out a window.

Peter, Peter Pumpkin-Eater,Had a wife and couldn't keep her.He put her in a pumpkin shell,And there he kept her very well.

Let the woman into Paradise, she'll bring her cow along.

I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.

It's sort of an action flick. You can't be that funny trying to steal diamonds.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

In my mind ran the immortal line of James Thurber, that phrase at once so intensely comic and so pregnant with suggestions of unnameable terror: "Now we go up to the garrick and become warbs." We were going up to the garrick all right, and warbs suddenly seemed the least terrifying of the things we might become.

Assume the worst. About everybody. But don't let this poisoned outlook affect your job performance. Let it all roll off your back. Ignore it. Be amused by what you see and suspect. Just because someone you work with is a miserable, treacherous, self-serving, capricious and corrupt asshole shouldn't prevent you from enjoying their company, working with them or finding them entertaining.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Next time you pull a knife on me," Inga growled, "this is vhat I do to you." She hammered a scruffy bush with the violent and athletic kick of a Chinaman in a kung fu movie. "Extreme Unction!" the bush howled. "Call de priest! Me need Extreme Unction!" "Inga!" Aloysius cried. "De bush no trouble you! Him is a Catholic bush!

I guess cows aren't into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.

Like the little girl who says to a little boy, "Are you a Presbyterian?" And he says, "No, we belong to another abomination!

Live faithfully, fight bravely, and die laughing.

The others in my cell are mostly kind. Some tell jokes. Here's one: Have you heard about the Wehrmacht exercise program? Yes, each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there!

Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor.

Mardonius was in the best of humors. Like the Great King at Salamis, he misinterpreted what he saw as disunity, low morale, and incompetence, and ordered an immediate general advance across the Asopus.

Ah, so the perfidious female is a common species in America too, eh?" inquired the French officer, laughing again. "Isn't it a worldwide phenomenon?

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you.