Quotes About Humor

Humor is a passive form of terrorism, of resistance, and of pseudo-aggression that has less to do with changing the world than with mental hygiene. It is self-therapy...

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I suggest that someone should plant a few whoopee cushions in the United Nations.

Oof," replied Easy, trying to loosen the clutch she had on his penis. "Say," noticed Judy, "you've got an erection." "People keep telling me that." "Obviously you're not a rat then. You find me attractive." "It's a simple reflex, ma'am. Anybody who rubbed my leg could produce a similar result." "You're ducking the issue." She stroked the head of his penis twice more and let go.

How big are you, really? I always say that I'm two inches... from the floor.

If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to.

I'm writing a new book called 'Ventroliquism for Dummies'.

The joke in our family is that we can cry reading the phone book.

When women don't want to give out their phone number, they make up a number. This one girl said to me, "My telephone number? 456-78910." "Is that by any chance in the 123 area code?"

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

They call me Tater Salad

I didn't want to be DRUNK. IN. PUBLIC. I wanted to be drunk in a BAR. I was THROWN. into. public.

There once was a man who said, "GodMust think it exceedingly oddIf he finds that this treeContinues to beWhen there's no one about in the Quad."

Philosophers used to speculate about what they called the meaning of life. (That is now the job of mystics and comedians.)

And extending a withered hand in the direction of the vote she slipped some salted almonds into her bosom.

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

A ship carrying red paint collided with another one carrying purple paint. Both crews are thought to be marooned.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go in.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

My wife tries not to bring out the beast in me -she's afraid of mice.

If I was as rich as a Rockerfeller I'd be Richer than Rockefeller, because I'd do a bit of window cleaning on the side.

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.