Quotes About Humor

I tell ya one thing, my wife keeps me in line. No matter how many guys are ahead of me.

I tell ya, I know I'm ugly. My proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth.

I'm at the age now, when I meet a woman sixty years old, she's too young for me.

I told my doctor, "I think my wife has VD." He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

I love Sell Out, I think it's great. I love the jingles. The whole thing as an album is a wonderful piece of work. The cover. Everything about it. It's got humor, great songs, irony.

Meow!" said the chicken.

Roses are red and violets are purple, sugar is sweet and so is maple surple.

Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very different people, but we did share a sense of humor, we now live in different parts of the world but when we find ourselves in the same place it is more or less as if there had been no years in between.

Male and Female Compatibility Rules: a. She's right. b. He's really thinking about nothing. Really.

No dark sarcasm, in the classroom.

Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects.

When I said I wanted to die in my sleep, I meant I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love.

Your kitchen is not inferior to a queen's boudoir!' I replied with a pleasant smile, 'but we must leave it now; for the gentlemen may be cursing me for keeping them away from their duties in the kitchen so long.' We both laughed heartily.

Marty grinned as he backed toward the door. "Green eggs and mamba," he said, then ran.

Now you can say you've been bitten in the ass by an ass." "That's

Why is my skull covered with hair? To make it look like my genitals?

Hundert gute Gründe, mich auf der Stelle umzubringen 1. Die beste Art, um sicherzugehen, dass ich nicht schon tot bin. 2. Die letzte Volkszählung wird dann nicht mehr stimmen. 3. Unter der Erde wartet man nur noch auf mich, um mit dem Feiern anzufangen. (...)

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humor is a silent and polite dynamite which enables you to blow your own way of life sky-high every time you have had enough of it, yet with the maximum discretion and without making a mess.

La comicità ha una grande virtù: è un posto sicuro in cui ciò che è serio può rifugiarsi e sopravvivere.»

The ability to laugh is what differentiates man from the beasts, but evidently one cannot always get oneself in a laughing mood.

Maman ! hurle Carmen, en voyant que je partais et que j'avais déjà un pied dehors. Ne t'en va donc pas comme ça ! Laisse-nous quelque chose, en attendant que Lucien trouve du travail ! » « Tout ce que j'peux vous laisser, c'est ça ! » que j'leurs dis , en levant une jambe et en lâchant un pet.