Quotes About Humor

Don't get me wrong. I love my mother-in-law. It's her daughter I can't figure out.

if I am still a somber man, incapable of laughing whole-heartedly

We all like chicken

There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

The times change, and to the extent that comedy captures the spirit of the times, it will enjoy success.

Pure unadulterated success is not as funny as failure.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.

I've had great success being a total idiot.

Quit taking life so seriously. It isn't a test.

Laughter is an essential ingredient of a happy life.

Humour, like any life skill, is learnable. If others can learn it, so can you.

If you can't do it, just laugh about it instead of blushing or being embarrassed.

How can they say my life isn't a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?

The man who tries to be funny is lost. To lose one's naturalness is always to lose the sympathy of your audience.

No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

The perception of the comic is a tie of sympathy with other men.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.

You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.

My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?

Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher.

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.