Quotes About Humor

Old teachers never die, they just grade away.

I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.

My old geometry teacher called me and he was like yo man you need to start wearing a shirt. You're ruining my marriage.

It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.

Eventually light prevails, you just have to be patient. So practice Buddhism, learn to be enlightened, put a smile on your face, go find a great teacher, meditate, and stay funny.

Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.

The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn't made every line funny. It's so depressing."

never use sarcasm in an email

there was nothing wrong: just a touch of the back-door trots - not the flux, for there was no sign of blood, no spotting in the mustard. 'I know how to take care o' myself: not the first time I've had a run of the squitters and collywobbles.

Forse perché la derisione è una forma di difesa per chi la usa, contro il pericolo della solitudine? Perché si deride in compagnia, mentre chi suscita il riso resta immancabilmente da solo?

Unlike Western parents, reminding my child of Lord Voldemort didn't bother me.

I think you would like Warren. He drinks Courvoisier in a Coke can, and has a laugh like you'd find in a cartoon bubble.

I like parting shots; you can't take them seriously and they're often pretty funny.

What stops me from taking myself seriously, even though I'm essentially a serious person, is that I find myself extremely ridiculous—not in the sense of the small-scale ridiculousness of slapstick comedy, but rather in the sense of a ridiculousness that seems intrinsic to human life and that manifests itself in the simplest actions and most ordinary gestures. For example, I can never shave without starting to laugh; it seems so idiotic.

I always got the words pedestrian and Presbyterian confused. I didn't understand why Presbyterians always had the right of way.

Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.

When Death laughs, no one else does

In It's Only Temporary, Evan Handler confronts the ambiguities of life backward, forward, and in between. With hilarious honesty he reflects on the realization that we can start over again. It's Only Temporary is a heartfelt book for all of us who are getting younger and older at the same time.

I am a miserable cook but an extremely talented eater.

All I wanted was humor and wisdom.

Nothing seems true today except the death of the goldfish who used to make love at ninety kilometers an hour in the pool. The maid has given him a Christian burial. To the worms! To the worms!

You . . . make me laugh talking about Casanova. You don't know yet what men are like, pardon.

It is the men who take the women to the circus, and they go to hear the men laugh!