Quotes About Humor

Show me a girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show you a girl who can't put her pants on. -Annik Marchand

There was one thing Bridget like about guys. They took insults well.

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!" —Johnny carson

Why did Mr. Stupid tiptoe past the medicine chest?" shrieked Claire. "Because he didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills!" she answered herself.

You really haven't lived until a dog has stepped on your face. I

Stacey?" Kristy said. "You have a Chunky wrapper on your butt.

I saw Rachel cross her eyes at Jessica, tilt her head to the side and stick her tongue out. If Jessica noticed, she didn't pay attention.

I followed Margo into the kitchen. "I want some friddiggity for dessert." she announced. "What's friddiggity?" Mom asked. "Dog diggity fridge," Claire replied. Dad spun around. "The dog's in the fridge?" As Byron fell off his chair in hysterics, Adam yanked open the refrigerator and gasped. "Pow's frozen solid!" Poor Claire turned bone-white.

People?" Claire burst out laughing. "Silly, we're not canimals.

I, personally, have never seen a pirate with more than exactly one earring. I pointed out that if I did get my ears pierced again, probably no one would mistake me for a pirate, but Mom and Dad failed to see the humor in that.

The two-year-olds were standing over a pile of dirty forks and spoons, laughing hysterically. They're okay, Claudia said. No thanks to you, Mary Anne commented under her breath. If you're so concerned, why don't you teach Marnie and Ryan to play Parchessi? Claudia said, marching out of the room. They're already making a silverware sculpture! Mary Anne retorted. (Boy, was Mary Anne furious. She never talks like that).

Clearing the Brie from someone's arteries?" I said. I thought Seth and Mommy were going to fall over laughing. "Debris is stuff that's blown into the street. And that's what they mean by arteries — streets.

Very funny, Kristy. Hilarious. I have stolen a man's suitcase with a murder victim inside it, the mob is about to close in, I'm making my European debut looking like a cover model for Parenting magazine, and you're making fun of me!

My backside is my best side

Life is not fair, I had reminded myself. Everybody gets a bad break from time to time. The important thing is not what those breaks are, but how you deal with them. If I ever got as sick as Danielle, I hoped I could also be as cheerful and funny and realistic as she was.

Then I realized I smelled like horses and manure

He's ninety-two years old," Mr. Willet whispered to Min and Flora. "And my hearing is as sharp as ever," he said, and everyone laughed.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. It was Kristy, sitting behind me in a seat by herself. "Stacey?" she said. "I've got a terrible problem." "What is it?" I asked, alarmed. "The theme from Gilligan's Island is running through my head and I can't get rid of it.

Kristy had a cow.

love with a big blue frog. A big blue frog loves me. It's not as bad as it may seem. He wears glasses and he's six foot three. Oh —

David Michael walked up to the desk and rang the bell. "Yes?" asked Karen. "May I help you?" "I'm Bruce Stringbean," said David Michael, giggling. "I'm a big rock and roll star and I need a room for me and my manager and all my friends.

Witnessing the misadventures of supposedly enlightened adepts and their devotees can be depressing. But it can also be amusing.

George Bush says he speaks to god every day, and Christians love him for it. If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer, they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer makes it any more absurd.

Some nights," I said, "I picture myself naked, covered in napalm, running down the street. But then it's not napalm. It's apple butter. And it's not a street. It's my mother.