Quotes About Humor

I don't know how it all at once came to me to talk a lot, tell jokes, kick up, and suddenly have views. When it was time to have them, there was no telling how I picked them from the air.

Roumanian is an easy language. You just add a tl to everything.

Ima u tome neke mudrosti, pomislio je, kao da bi posrtanjem mogao vratiti ravnotežu, ili priznaju?i malo ludila do?i pameti. A uživao je u šalama na svoj ra?un.

Cynicism was bread and meat to everyone. And irony, too. Maybe it couldn't be helped. It was probably even necessary.

There is something funny about the human condition, and civilized intelligence makes fun of its own ideas.

Hay pocas cosas que pongan con tanta seguridad de buen humor como el relato de alguna calamidad que se ha sufrido últimamente, o también la sincera confesión de una debilidad personal.

Have you ever noticed that things that don't kill you make you weaker? And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill." - Wally

It is a wondrous human characteristic to be able to slip into and out of idiocy many times a day without noticing the change or accidentally killing innocent bystanders in the process.

Recapping my skill set: I have poor art skills, mediocre business skills, good but not great writing talent, and an early knowledge of the Internet. And I have a good but not great sense of humor. I'm like one big mediocre soup. None of my skills are world-class, but when my mediocre skills are combined, they become a powerful market force.

Dogbert to Dilbert My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people. Then what does it do? Why would it need to do anything else?

Es gibt zwei Arten von Menschen: intelligente und attraktive Leute wie Sie [...] und die sechs Milliarden Idioten, die uns im Weg herumstehen.

Lately...the Peter Principle has given way to the Dilbert Principle. The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

If you go to movies, choose the funny ones first and avoid anything you know will end on a sad note.

My main job for the past few decades has been creating Dilbert. Making comics is a process by which you strip out the unnecessary noise from a situation until all that is left is the absurd-yet-true core.

Some humor experts say the secret to humor is to combine something unexpected with something bad and then make sure it's happening to someone else. But if that's all it took, serial killers would be winning comedy competitions.

But if your story is about the inner workings of competitive quilting, you'd better make it short and extra witty. People drift off when you stop talking about stuff that isn't, well, them. The

Never use naughtiness in mixed company, unless your witticism is so funny that your audience will shoot tears of happiness out of their eyes with a velocity sufficient to powerwash a small bus. Any joke that falls short of that standard will make you lose respect in the eyes of everyone except your best friends, who, as you know, lost respect for you long ago.

You know, men do nearly all die laughing, because they know death is very terrible, and a thing to be forgotten till after it has come. T. E. LAWRENCE, IN A LETTER TO HIS MOTHER, 1916

That said, Snark can be effective (and funny) when done well, and without clichés. One of the problems with Snark nowadays is that it's overused, and therefore writers in this category have difficulty standing out from the crowd. Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has written some very funny essays and books in this style.

The human butt is the single funniest thing in the known universe. This is undisputed.

Nice bird, asshole!

What's the n-never-fail universal apology? 'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.

Brooke said, "Mom, did you know that the movie Frozen is really about pooping?" Mrs. Estabrook said, "What?" "Yeah," Brooke continued. "See, Elsa makes ice. It just comes from her body naturally. She can't help it. Sometimes it happens by accident. And her parents tell her to never let anyone see it happen.

Time is the only constant. For the living it never stops... For the dead it doesn't matter... And for the undead? For the undead, time is a joke to be laughed at!