Quotes About Humor

The only throne that kid's gonna sit on is the kind you flush.

Blasted doorknob of a kender

And he enjoyed listening to Caramon's gossip. Raistlin enjoyed proving to his own satisfaction that his fellow mortals were fools and idiots, while Caramon took immense pleasure in bringing a smile - albeit a sardonic smile - to his twin's lips.

He can only express his feelings through parody.

I never said becoming the slayer would be a field trip to a Justin Bieber concert.

You are my blood mate," he says simply, finding my hand and squeezing it with his own. "I would die for you." Gah! A little warning before the touching would be nice. Mainly so I can resist the overwhelming urge to morph into a jiggly pile of Jell-O, thank you very much. "You'd … die… for me?"" I manage to choke out. I've got to lighten the mood here. "Technically aren't you already dead?

Hi, my name is Sunny and I'm a bloodoholic.

You talk of falling in love as if it were a terrible fall: for my part, I should pity a person much more for falling down stairs.

The back windows looked out over the fields, then the Atlantic, maybe a hundred yards away. Actually, I'm just making that bit up. I had no idea how far away the sea was. Only men could do things like that. Half a mile. Fifty yards. Giving directions, that sort of thing. I could look at a woman and say Thirty-six C. Or Let's try it in the next size up. But I had no idea how far away Tim's sea was except that I wouldn't want to walk to it in high heels.

Didn't go in, just hovered outside like homeless person because (a) place was too small and Detta would have spotted me, and (b) once you're through doors of shop like that, if you try to leave without buying anything, they shoot you in the back with sniper's rifle.

Where's that guy with the coffee?' 'I'm here.' Mannix had appeared. 'You went to Costa Rica for the beans?

That's like the dog calling the cat's arse hairy!

My personal brand was, 'In recovery, but still great fun'.

She had once tried to copy Jojo's sexy wink – drink had been taken – but she had simply succeeded in dislodging her contact lens which had made her eyelid flutter like a trapped butterfly.

He'd refused to sack Honey Monster Shauna after she'd mistakenly included an extra zero in Gaelic Knitting and people ended up knitting christening shawls that were seventeen feet long instead of three.

there is no bogeyman,' Craig said confidently. 'Mummy said.' Ted reconsidered. Surely something must scare him? Ok, if you don't go to sleep, Mick Hucknall will come and get you.' 'What's that?' 'I'll show you.' Ted nipped downstairs, grabbed the CD and ran back up. ...

Love is blind, there was no doubt about it. In Tara's case it was also deaf, dumb, dyslexic, had a bad hip and the beginnings of Alzheimer's.

Il moque l'accent américain, « ils disent champagne comme John Wayne ».

Sometimes, I fantasize saying to the man I married, "You know that hamburger you just gobbled down with relish and mustard? It was your truck.

He repeated his question. "Your love life?" "Same old, you know. Nothing out there. All the good men are gay.

People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that let's you know when to laugh if you're to stupid to know when the joke is.

Books are good because they are thick and you can hit someone with it.

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.