Quotes About Humor

By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

Ninety percent of all prisoners in all jails get out some day. So why not give them a little levity in what's otherwise a very dark life?

Anybody that makes fun of me, I'm like, 'Yeah, and then I got touched by Hugh Jackman'

There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'

Don't take life too seriously. After all none of us are getting out alive anyway.

The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone.

I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the human experience, you know, whether they're people of any stripes of life.

I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.

You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"

If anything, I've probably tended more toward humor in my writing and veered more toward pleasure in my personal life.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to 'life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.'

I haven't been on a date in awhile. I went on maybe two dates in my whole life.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. From my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.

I think just because life is hard, it does seem fun to have a break and laugh about things, so I think in the end, my instincts go there.

My father was a doctor so I was around death all my life. So, I was very used to it because he was a f-king doctor.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.

Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.

Fix me up with a mannequin, just remember I like blondes. I'll be the life of the party, even when I'm dead and gone.

I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a lot of dog jokes. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog.

Life is tragic but it's equally comic.

Imagination is a quality that was given to man compensate him from whats not. The sense of humor was given to console him from what is.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.