Quotes About Humor

In some company it's perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I do not believe in an afterlife although I am bringing a change of underwear.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life.

There are a lot of funny things that happen in one's life.

One of the funny things in life to me is a guy who takes himself very seriously.

A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key.

I'm kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4, 000 people about it.

I routinely inform people when I meet them that I am like a real life version of Dory the fish, as I am very forgetful and have problems tracking conversations.

With humor and humility you can withstand anything.

If you were given the chance to be reborn after your death, buy you could only come back as a squirrel, would you complain?

For me, a hearty laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. It's a way of life!

Husbands are the leftovers of a stew called love –she thought—, and with hair on their faces.

I married my first husband for love, my second husband for adventure, and my third husband for laffs.

Fair enough…No inhaling battery acid, " I smirk. "We can't breathe batteryacid, can we?

I find it funny when people try to brag about being younger than me...like having lived less is an accomplishment. Makes me want to pat them on the head, lol. I'm comfortable with who I am.

If you have no troubles – buy a goat.

I still believe this Life is a good joke. And if you treat it that way, you will never stop laughing.

How can one be so serious with the world when the world itself is so ridiculous?

There are times when I can't believe how much ridiculous stuff happens to me and how brilliant it is to be in a position to write about it.