Quotes About Humor

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.

Instead I invite you to consider why you laughed at a joke the last time you did. If the punch line made you realize that the story could be understood in a way other than how you first heard it, you have experienced a moment of mindfulness.

At least once a week, Dinsy was amused by the indignant sputtering of someone who had just spooned dill weed, not sugar, into a cup of Earl Grey tea.

Have you seen Marcus?" he asked his ugly friend. "Yes, he was stoping some people in the Violet Room from climbing the curtains." "What for?" "They were not professionals." "Oh.

more than once, and even her dad had mentioned it, laughingly. "That's

Then she probably would have waved back," Max said. "And it might be a he." "Ha! Not likely," Lucia said. "Didn't you notice them?" "Them what?" Max asked. "Her... you know. She has breasts, Max! What do you think that is on her chest?" "I think it's a pair of crossed arms," Max said.

Then how about one kiss?' he said with a sexy grin. 'Something to remember me by?' 'I'll give you something to remember me by,' I said. The back of my head.' I pushed past him and escaped through the door to freedom.

I'll give you something to remember ME by... The back of my head!

WARNING Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

I was especially struck by their sense of humor; so at odds with any self-pity -- the ability to step back and laugh at oneself, however wryly.

We too often laughed at the same time to be a whore and a lonely guy.

flatulence—the

It's normal to shy away from illness and death. It's natural to gravitate toward laughter and life.

The real wit tells jokes to make others feel superior, while the half-wit tells them to make others feel small.

I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn't have a sense of humor. He never has anything funny in his stories.

You are absolutely beautiful," Anne said. "But if you see yourself, you'll want to pin your hair back like a shepherdess in a bad play." (Eleanor) "Are you saying that I normally look as if I'm tending sheep? With straw in my hair? As if I might yodel?

everyone always says that Lord Findleshanks is really a woman. Did you ever look at him closely? He does look like a woman.' 'He has a beard,' Harriet pointed out. 'So did my grandmother.

Is he your very first gingerbread man?' She nodded. 'You eat him.' 'Eat his head?' 'I always start with the feet,' Edie suggested. 'But if I eat him, he'll be dead.' 'No, he'll be in your tummy,' Layla said. 'There's a difference.' 'I think I'd better eat his head first,' Susannah said ... 'That way he won't know what's happening to him.' 'That's a very kind thought,' Layla approved.

Just before he opened the door, he stopped and dropped a kiss on her nose. "If I were to marry anyone, Linnet, it would be you." "I always knew these breasts would come in handy," she said with satisfaction.

Freddie is here' Gabriel said 'Lazy sod

On the Métro heading to school, Anna launched into a wicked impersonation of her enraged English teacher stamping her foot: "Shut zee mouths! Zit down! Little cretins!" The entire subway car was laughing, though Anna remained totally unaware of her captive and captivated audience.