Quotes About Humor

Ha, now he's even more appealing," Nimue laughed.

bet you homework

So, Iften is of the Pig. That explains a lot." Keir's head jerked up, and he laughed out loud.

It was wonderful flirting with him, all the razor-edged literary banter, like Beatrice and Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing. A battle of wit, and a test, too.

p'tit morceau de merde écossaise.

You will be surprised to find how much that has seemed hopelessly disagreeable possesses either an instructive or an amusing side." from "The Heart of the New Thought" 1902.

Some nasty old fart and his weird wife died, but the airboat swamp tour was awesome." She

What... me fight you? The biggest thing I've ever beat up was a cake mix

the scent of overpriced coffee was like the armpit of God.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say, "Because it's such a beautiful animal." There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

It's so weird all the different names they have for groups of animals. They have pride of lions, school of fish, rack of lamb. . . .

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

When life gives you lemons....they could really be oranges.

And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic. No wonder I drink so much! Then I get so drunk, I can barely feed the baby. That's what I call myself when I'm drunk, "The Baby.

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.