Quotes About Humor

el origen secreto del humor no es la alegría sino la tristeza

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother. I shall always delight to meet an ass after my own heart when I shall have finished my travels.

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon--laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution- these can lift at a colossal humbug- push it a little - weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

You do beat all for natural stupidness.

But the teller of the comic story does not slur the nub; he shouts it at you—every time. And when he prints it, in England, France, Germany, and Italy, he italicizes it, puts some whooping exclamation-points after it, and sometimes explains it in a parenthesis. All of which is very depressing, and makes one want to renounce joking and lead a better life.

In German, a young lady has no sex, while a turnip has. Think what overwrought reverence that shows for the turnip, and what callous disrespect for the girl. See how it looks in print—I translate this from a conversation in one of the best of the German Sunday-school books: "Gretchen. Wilhelm, where is the turnip? "Wilhelm. She has gone to the kitchen. "Gretchen. Where is the accomplished and beautiful English maiden? "Wilhelm. It has gone to the opera.

implore him to be a merciful ass and trample his duty under foot.

The average human being is a perverse creature; and when he isn't that, he is a practical joker.

Bóg stworzyÅ' czÅ'owieka, poniewa? rozczarowaÅ' siÄ™ maÅ'pÄ…. Z dalszych eksperymentów zrezygnowaÅ'.

It all began with Adam. He was the first man to tell a joke--or a lie. How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant. - Notebook, 1867

Henry, I'm ashamed of you. You don't half thank the good gentleman. May I do it for you?' -Indeed you shall, dear, if you can improve it. Let us see you try. She walked to my man, got up in his lap, put her arm round his neck, and kissed him right on the mouth. Then the two old gentlemen shouted with laughter, but I was dumfounded, just petrified, as you may say.

Se pot da multe exemple de construcÅ£ii f?r? sens. Cea mai reuÅŸit? este construcÅ£ia unui gard de cimitir, cei care sunt în?untru oricum nu mai pot ieÅŸi, iar cei de afar? oricum nu vor s? intre

new phone who dis

This, together with his hanging his coat on the floor on one side of a chair, and his vest on the floor on the other side, and piling his pants on the floor just in front of the same chair, and then contemplating the general result with superstitious awe, and finally pronouncing it "too many for him" and going to bed with his boots on, led us to fear that something he had eaten had not agreed with him.

Consider the three years sped. Now look around on England. A happy and prosperous country, and strangely altered. Schools everywhere, and several colleges; a number of pretty good newspapers. Even authorship was taking a start; Sir Dinadan the Humorist was first in the field, with a volume of gray-headed jokes which I had been familiar with during thirteen centuries.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, unless, of course, you are congress.

the old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a-man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bill like everything.

Say," said Ham Sandwich

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

Jim said bees wouldn't sting idiots; but I didn't believe that, because I had tried them lots of times myself, and they wouldn't sting me.

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens." Woody Allen *

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.