Quotes About Humor

Zanim przyjechaÅ'em [do Niemiec], nie wiedziaÅ'em, po co istnieje wieczno??. Teraz ju? wiem. By niektórym z nas da? szansÄ™ nauczenia siÄ™ niemieckiego. SÄ…dzÄ™, ?e tylko Bóg jest w stanie przeczyta? niemieckÄ… gazetÄ™.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

If I got it the right length precisely, I could spring the finishing ejaculation with effect enough to make some impressible girl deliver a startled little yelp and jump out of her seat --and that was what I was after.

As long as you're in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot. And there

One of his favorite jokes was about a guy who was smuggling wheelbarrows. Every day for years and years a customs agent carefully searched through this guy's wheelbarrow. Finally, when he was about to retire, the customs agent asked the guy, We've become friends. I've searched your wheelbarrow every day for many years. What is it you're muggling? My friend, I am smuggling wheelbarrows.

the BTK Killer (which to me sounds more like something you order from a drive-thru window).

Wake & Bake. More like Wash & Bake. Half a bowl of cereal and a shot of bourbon later, I'm there, my friendly haze having finally arrived. I'm ready for work.

All my friends seem to be smart arses. Don't ask me why. Like many things, it is what it is.

Clearly, said Arthur,you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.

It could be worse. I could be you.

One thing I've noticed about the Germans: They seem very fond of pigs.

That aside, I read more books than I should, and I'm decidedly crap at sex and doing my taxes. Nice to meet you.)

The words are spat through the phone line. They're loud and wet in my ear. "Y' big dickhead." She's lovely, isn't she?

That aside, I read more books than I should, and I'm decidedly crap at sex and doing my taxes. Nice to meet you.

By the way—I like this human idea of the grim reaper. I like the scythe. It amuses me.)

One thing I've noticed about the Germans: They seem very fond of pigs.

A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship. A

Perhaps it was Rudy who kept her sane, with the stupidity of his talk, his lemon-soaked hair, and his cockiness. He seemed to resonate with a kind of confidence that life was still nothing but a joke - an endless succession of soccer goals, trickery, and a constant repertoire of meaningless chatter.

To see a man slip on a banana skin is to see a rationally structured system suddenly translated into a whirling machine.

Humor as a system of communications and as a probe of our environment—of what's really going on—affords us our most appealing anti-environmental tool. It does not deal in theory, but in immediate experience, and is often the best guide to changing perceptions.

Melrose winced. He lived in a world of dried-up pheasant and one-liners.

It was either Kenya or staying with my nincompoop grandchildren. Ha! Leopards I'd sooner." Melrose waited for her to complete the sentence, but she was done with it.

HERE'S HOW MY OXFORD DICTIONARY DEFINES IT: "The spasmodic utterance, facial distortion, shaking of the sides, etc., which form the instinctive impression of mirth." To me this sounds like the array of symptoms caused by a lethal virus, but it's actually a description of one of the best things life has to offer: laughter. With certain exceptions, the Joy Diet requires you to do it at least thirty times a day.

It would have been hilarious if I wasn't about to die. It was still a little hilarious.