Quotes About Humor

My dad would always say, 'What can you do to make the world a better place?' Well, I can make people laugh.

Success is always less funny than failure.

Friends are the fruitcake of life - some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet.

Your brain is doing some great work when it's laughing.

Hang on, the cats are demanding their second breakfast. One second.

I'll explain that in a moment)

Jon Scieszka

To answer your next question: boxers. Plain blue boxers. No smiley faces. No hearts.

My wife works at an animal rescue place. So at home we now have a dog with two anuses and a half a dachshund.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

If "con" is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just fucking blow your mind?!?

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

I want to meet the man who saw a turtle and said, "People will LOVE the ninja version of that."

The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.

There's that expression, David always uses it: 'I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

he was the proud owner of a quite colossal member, which on the many awestruck occasions it had been exposed to public view had been compared variously to a giant frankfurter, an overfed python, a length of led piping, the trunk of a rogue elephant, a barrage balloon, an airport-sized Toblerone and a roll of wet wallpaper.

I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny.

One forgets that though a clown never imitates a wise man, the wise man can imitate the clown.

When David wasn't ruling, he would ponder all the various forms of laughter there could be. So far, he had only categorized four: laughter at your own expense, laughter at the expense of others, laughter at the human predicament, and laughter at small animals falling off tables.

By going "ah" and "hah" they were able to lift the unrelenting pain of their dark, bestial days into something more recreational. It is only through the godly gift of humor that man endures the horror. What other faculty allows you to turn pain into triumph? Tears of sadness into tears of laughing too hard?

I'm not posh! I'm just southern