Quotes About Humor

Dad also has the loudest, stinkiest farts in creation. I don't know how he manages to control them at work, or even if he does, but when he'd get home, he'd let them loose. They'd start as he walked up the stairs. Step, fart.

signal us, and I guess, warn us, the more we was crackin' up and laughin'.

He shows no anger, I show no anger but in flashes of humor, all is courtesy and horror.

Celeste leans close enough to whisper in my ear. "See? That red shirt is magic. He liked your boobs." "And here I thought it was my sparkling personality." "Boobs always make a personality more sparkling.

Romulan or Vulcan?' the ushers asked each guest. Marion, who had been poised to say 'friends of the bride' had responded to the question with an open-mouthed stare, and Jay Omega answered, 'Klingon!" which got them seats in the back row of the Romulan side.

It couldn't be the beer. Donnie McRory was certain of that. If you sent American beer out to be analyzed, the lab would probably phone up and say, 'Your horse has diabetes.

After breakup, when you feel like shit. Its probably constipation from all the cake and ice cream.

The joke is that one Bengali is a poet, two Bengalis is an argument, three Bengalis is a political party

Shaun Considine

We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.

Im sorry it's just a little case of PMS that's all...Im just one big emotional wreck...Could you guys go get me some Midol and a Snicker

Yo! Hold my poodle!

If you were expecting Prince Charming, I'm sorry. He's with his boyfriend.

Sometimes, life just sucked. "Bite me," she muttered. "Okay, where?" Deke asked, then went on. "Never mind. I've got some enticing ideas of my own.

Eat anything before you started drinking?" Xander asked. "Fuck off." "I can tell that vodka is helping you make great decisions." Javier glared. "Fuck off." "Has your vocabulary been reduced to two words now?" "No. Please fuck off.

His pretty face could not make up for the fact that he had the IQ of a dead houseplant and the emotional range of a frozen pea.

You have to know where the funny is, and if you know where the funny is, you know everything.

I majored in animal husbandry in college, which is good, because I married a couple of pigs.

Don't do anything stupid. That's our job.

Men always say the most important thing in a woman is a sense of humor. You know what that means? He's looking for someone to laugh at his jokes.

Stand-up comics reflect less of a visual humor and more of a commentary.

Oh! I must take my shoes off. Huh! Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns, has it?

While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.