Quotes About Humor

Sissy could walk home while you drive me and the groceries back." "Or," Sissy countered, "I could gut you here and let your rotting corpse attract the hyenas while we go home and enjoy a nice, quiet meal at my parents' house." Mitch thought about that a moment but finally shook his head. "That doesn't really work for me.

Vig walked back to his truck. That's when Stieg drily asked, "Do you need another minute to blush coquettishly and dream about your perfect white wedding?" As Vig walked around the front of his vehicle, he grabbed Stieg by the hair and slammed him face-first into the hood.

Mitch glanced at Ralph and back at Brendon. "I think he's snoring." "Or those are hunger growls." "Bastard.

So what's going on?" Livy asked after spitting out a bit more blood. "Got a job for you." "Will I be whoring?" "Not this time. I'm sorry." "You know how I love to whore," Livy stated with that flat tone that freaked people out, because no one ever knew whether she was joking or not.

He didn't. But I didn't beat him up," Lock quickly added. "I…I simply threw him five…or maybe it was fifty feet into a tree." The two friends gazed at each other for a long moment. Finally, Lock shrugged. "That does make it all kind of awkward, doesn't it?

Mitch waved his hand in front of his nose. "Christ almighty! What is that funk on you?" Gwen smirked. "Eau de Grizzly.

Isn't it enough you have poor Mitch here playing against bears?" They all looked at "poor Mitch," who seemed to be having the equivalent of an orgasm eating that slice of cherry pie.

Is there something wrong with you? Mentally?" Darlin', you met my family. You've gotta be more specific than that. (Jess to Smitty)

True, but now you've got Bren. Think of it like an extra pair of thermal underwear. Sometimes you're in a situation when you really need two." Ronnie started to sip her hot chocolate but stopped and put her cup back down. "Darlin', that is one of the dumbest analogies I've heard in a long time.

Mitch grabbed hold of the car keys and held them over his head so Sissy couldn't get them. She, in turn, grabbed his nuts and twisted until he gave her the damn keys.

I swear, Bobby Ray, you don't have the sense the Lord gave a rabbit.

Either Mitch goes with me…or get used to finding your wife hiding in trees." "That's just mean." "I'm a Smith. What did you expect?" "Good point.

What are you lookin' at me for? I'm a ray of fuckin' sunshine.

Stevie! Stevie!" When her sister didn't respond, Charlie released her and threw up her hands. "I've killed her. Of course I've killed her. I knew one day I'd kill you all." Max finally got to her feet. "Good Lord! Get off the cross, we need the wood." "What does that mean?

You sure are good with cats—for a canine." Dez sat down on the couch opposite Smitty, her son asleep in her arms. "Not as good as you, my sweet Dez." "Well, darlin', you lack the equipment for that.

He's jealous of you." "Is that right?" "Of course! Because no matter what he does, when he puts on your shorts and one of your bras, he never looks as cute in them as you do.

Not that he had anything to worry about. Personally, Sissy would like to avoid having acid thrown in her face. She was wacky that way.

Ronnie snarled and Brendon roared back. Her eyes narrowed. "You roared at me?" "And I'll do it again if you can't keep your paws off my Oreos.

I'm here with Eggie." All eyes focused on Ric and he suddenly felt like he'd just been handed a speedy death sentence. "Not for that!" Miss Darla gasped, then added with a firm nod. "Don't you worry one bit, Ulrich. I made Eggie fill in that shallow grave before we drove up here." Lock grimaced and Ric swallowed. "Thank you?

Can I come ? " Blayne asked. "No you'll wander the aisles and want to buy things that aren't needed for this process. But I will pick you up a couple of those giant butterfingers that they sell at the cash register." Blayne grinned "Okay !

Because Patty Anne can't handle living on her own. She can barely handle not setting herself on fire when she makes soda bread. My Gwenie doesn't have that problem." "Because she hates soda bread?

He didn't expect that question to send her tripping over her own two feet and flying into the bookstore's erotica section he'd followed her to. Luckily he had fast hands and caught her before her head could make contact with the Kama Sutra.

I have iced tea, dear. Or beer?" "Maybe a saucer of milk?" Gwen and Alla looked over at Lock and he immediately pointed at his father. "It was him," he lied.

Your sense of humor is not for everyone, but I have to say it's growing on me. Like an out-of-control fungus.