Quotes About Humor

Okay. Fine." Angelina was silent. For about fifteen seconds. "But you do know that a vibrator can't really be your boyfriend." Miki dropped her head into her hands. "I will not discuss Mr. Happy with the likes of you." Angelina sighed. "I find the fact that you named your vibrator disturbing on so many levels." "Best relationship I've ever had.

I'm merely pointing out that the gene that controls intelligence skipped a generation in the Van Holtz household.

I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.

When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone —'I didn't mean to startle her

We need time to relax and enjoy ourselves too, no matter how dark the story. The occasional humorous moment helps with that. That's one of the things that Joss Whedon excels at in his storytelling.

When I'm meant to be standing in the wings, the only way to go is the ladies' toilets. It's the only time I've ever acted in the toilets.

I've never been disbarred, committed or convicted of moral turpitude, and the only time I was arrested, it was a case of mistaken identity...I didn't know the guy I hit was a cop.

I can be on the Tonight Show, but not with Johnny [Carson]. He uses my name in his monologue all the time.

It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time.

The Lord took twice the time making thee, Alvin Smith, cause it took that long to put the mischief in.

Sure. Knock yourself out. No, really. Hammer to the head, works every time." Claire

That's very rude," Myrnin said. "I haven't brought my fangs our for some time. Not in mixed company, anyway.

The first time we put Debbie Downer on the show, I had a giggle fit that I couldn't control, and the whole cast ended up breaking so hard we could never quite recover.

A question I get asked a lot is 'What is it like to play the straight guy all the time?' And I'm totally okay with it.

'Star Trek' never grabbed me. Every time I hear about Klingons, I think of those little lint balls that stick to your clothes in the dryer.

We saw The Man From La Mancha, and I remember there was a scene where the woman's skirt fell off, and I got embarrassed and excited at the same time.

Trying to please everyone can be very hard, but, like Shrek or The Simpsons, Robin Hood manages to entertain adults and children at the same time, but in different ways.

I prefer to have a great time and to keep my wits about me.

I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy.

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.

When I laugh hard, sometimes I wet my pants, but I'm always relieved because that means I'm having a good time.

I'm a huge fan of 'Community'; it's, I think, one of the most brilliant comedy on television and has been for a long time.

Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.