Quotes About Humor

Midway through the 2015 season, Bob Uecker was standing behind the batting cage when someone hit a line drive off the L-screen in front of the pitcher. The ball caromed into the air and hit Uecker between the eyes before he knew what happened. He ended up missing the broadcast that night and spending the night in the hospital with concussion-like symptoms. "I'm always a little dizzy, but that was more than usual," Uecker joked.

I just looked over and saw our wieners in a wad," then-Brewers manager Ned Yost said after the game.

The joke in our family was that when I made an out, he'd move to a new location. If I got a hit, he'd stay where he was. We laughed about that a lot because I said that he probably sat in every seat in County Stadium because I made a lot of outs in the big leagues.

Bobby Hughes, the Brewers' catcher who had gone to Matt's alma mater, USC, hit a high fly ball to left field, and it hit a clock at the top edge of the fence. It almost went out of the park. Vasgersian was doing the call, and his voice went up in anticipation of a home run, and without batting an eye, he said, "Bobby Hughes just got clock-blocked!" It was one of the funnier moments of my time with him.

During the Brewers' playoff run in 2011, Ryan Braun stumbled rounding third on what would have been an inside-the-park home run. He got to third base, and coach Eddie Sedar was waving him around and Braunie got so excited that he just lost control, stumbled, and did a face-plant between third and home. He was tagged out, which was bad, but he drove in a run, and the Brewers won the game so everybody laughed about

A cop car pulls up, asks Ueck what we were doing. Ueck says to the policeman, 'We're marching. What's it look like we're doing?' [The] police officer says, 'Okay,' pulls his car over to the curb.

Every once in a while, when the Brewers are in a losing streak, Bob Uecker will pull out a secret weapon. It's a tape made by a sound effects company of a man having an explosive—and exceedingly long—bowel movement. Sophomoric? Yes. But it gets guys laughing so hard that a couple of losses or a 0-for-12 streak doesn't seem so daunting.

On July 4, 2015, Brewers center fielder Carlos Gomez left a gift for his counterpart Billy Hamilton. As the bottom of the third inning ended, Gomez left a pile of gum and a note for Hamilton that read, "I see you dropped all your gum so I brought you some more." TV cameras captured Gomez leaving the gum, Hamilton finding it, and both men laughing as a result.

Ueck's job was protect Bob Kuban, and the band that was playing in left field. They took a break. Roger Craig said, 'Ueck, why don't you grab a tuba?' He dropped his glove, grabbed the tuba, and caught about five balls in it. I remember [Cardinals general manager] Bob Howsam sent him a bill for $116 after the World Series for damage to the tuba.

They'd never seen anything like it." Uecker recalls the incident, which was captured in photos. "I was better with the tuba than I was with a glove," he said. The jokes about his career flow easily, but Uecker is proud of his time as a player and the respect that he has earned from players of his era and today.

Kyle Baker's work is really funny, but it's also got a very clear vision.

CINDRELLA   Q. why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? A. Because she kept running from the ball. BELT     Q. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A. Waist of time! ELEVATORS   Q. Why do ghosts love elevators? A. Because they lift their spirits! GRAVEYARD   Q. Why are there fences around a graveyard? A. Because people are dying to get in!

I don't trust these stairs because they are always up to something.

You can always trust a man who tucks his shirt inside his underpants.

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

CALVIN: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? HOBBES: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

Oh, don't mind Humpty. He's inhaled a hell of a lot of super-glue.