Quotes About Toilet

In Salford, we had fish in our tap water. I remember, one hot summer day, running to the toilet at playtime and dunking our heads in a sink full of water. I remember putting my head in and seeing all these little fish in it.

The saddest thing is when the toilet from an abandoned space station falls back to earth, lands upside-down on a child who was playing alone in the backyard, and smooshes them into the shape of half a hard-boiled egg. ...And when they lift the toilet off of the child, two lips at the top of the bloody mound say, on their dying breath, "I love you, mommy.

There's an indoor toilet, he informs us (though, as we soon find out, this "toilet" is a terrifying open hole above the tracks).

The reason is that even in a fantasy there is nothing even remotely erotic about a toilet bowl. In fact, considered as an accoutrement to a sexual encounter, a toilet bowl is a real cold shower.

When I get a really bad bout of painful bloating and that urgency that I need to go to the toilet, and I'm out on a night out with my friends, there's been times when I've had to leave and go back. Because there's no way I want to be in that situation where I'm in a club and really unwell.

Every time someone uses a bathroom and they flush, all the bacteria is shot into the air.

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Listen—when you're on the toilet, from the point of view of the toilet, you are not an icon taking a crap. You are a bottom taking a crap. If you can get that, you're going to be okay.

I also never encountered a real piece of toilet paper until I went away to college, because my father would stock our bathrooms with the industrial tissue that he bought at a discount from his government wholesalers. It had all the softness and absorbency of typing paper and acted more like a frosting spreader than a piece of toilet tissue.

We've got a girls' chorus of fourteen and they're running all over the place, with a chaperone who's driving us nuts and letting them do whatever they want. We've got a guy with a baby that hasn't stopped screaming since we took off, and one of our toilets just broke. You people have the good life up here.

Acting is invigorating. But I don't analyse it too much. It's like a dog smelling where it's going to do its toilet in the morning.

Baby, groaned the guy-Ted? Tad?-something like that-and crushed his lips against the side of her neck, shoving her face against the wall of the toilet stall.

Early on, Zinkoff's mother impressed upon her son the etiquette of throwing up: That is, do not throw up at random, but throw up into something, preferably a toilet or bucket. Since toilets or buckets are not always handy, Zinkoff has learned to reach for the nearest container. Thus, at one time or another he has thrown up into soup bowls, flowerpots, wastebaskets, trash bins, shopping bags, winter boots, kitchen sinks and, once, a clown's hat. But never his father's mailbag.

I'd finally in up in jail for a murder I really did commit. Amazing how fate can work against us sometimes. We like the think we're the center of the Solar System, everything revolving around. More likely, we're the center of the vortex when we flush the toilet.

People forget what a big issue toilet training is for adults and kids, and it is not fun, especially when you're in a car on the interstate.

War with Canada was far less of an enigma to me than what Aunt Evelyn was going to use for a toilet during the night

If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?

Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.

For a while, when I was eleven or so, I used to drop the empty cardboard toilet rolls into the john. They would take a while to disappear, five or six flushes usually, but I was in no hurry.

Then, as to money, however many engagements Florine may have, her salary does not cover the costs of her stage toilet, which, in addition to its costumes, requires an immense variety of long gloves, shoes, and frippery; and all this exclusive of her personal clothing. The first third of such a life is spent in struggling and imploring; the next third, in getting a foothold; the last third, in defending it.

flusher handle and all he managed to do was fall back and flush the stupid toilet.

The toilet from time to time imparted to the boat the scent of a cholera hospital and could be flushed only when the U-boat was on the surface or at shallow depths, lest the undersea pressure blow material back into the vessel.

Rightly or wrongly, the Victorian considered that there were certain subjects which were not meet for inter-sexual discussion, just as they held that certain processes of the feminine toilet, like the powdering of the nose and the application of lipstick to the mouth, were (if done at all) better done in private.