Quotes About Wit

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

Science is history arranged according to the superstition and taste of the moment. The vocabulary of scholars has no wit, no salt. These heavy tomes have no soul, they are filled with distress...

Funny is funny is funny.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

There was never anything by the wit of man so well devised, or so sure established, which in continuance of time hath not been corrupted.

Humor is the politeness of despair.

At the best, sarcasms, bitter irony, scathing wit, are a sort of sword-play of the mind. You pink your adversary and he is forthwith dead: and then you deserve to be hung for it.

Satire is an abuse of wit. It corrects few evils.

Wit is better as a seasoning than as a whole dish by itself.

Wit, like poetry, is insusceptible of being constructed upon rules founded merely in reason. Like faith, it exists independent of reason, and sometimes in hostility to it.

We take life too seriously: the office of wit is to correct this tendency.

Wit never appears to greater advantage than when it is successfully exerted to relieve from a dilemma, palliate a deficiency, or cover a retreat.

The compleat gentleman's rectitude does not prohibit him from having a sense of humor. His Stoic sense of life and his urbane education ought to give him wit.

Both boys giggled at that one. Then growing more somber, Blakely said, "But man oh man, what a total Babe Lair." "Love Nest." "Herpes Haven." "Penile Palace." "Beaver Trap." Myron tried not to sigh. It was like hanging out with a really annoying thesaurus. He turned to Win and asked what the plan was. "Follow

Intellectual arses wobble the best.

Your name's longer'n you are.

She was a keen observer, a precise user of language, sharp-tongued and funny. She could stir your emotions. Yes, really, that's what she was so good at - stirring people's emotions, moving you. And she knew she had this power...I only realized later. At the time, I had no idea what she was doing to me.

I didn't even realize I was writing songs - I thought I was just being witty and sarcastic.

As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

I do not say a proverb is amiss when aptly and reasonably applied, but to be forever discharging them, right or wrong, hit or miss, renders conversation insipid and vulgar.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.'

Is there a movie I think I should have won the Oscar for? Yeah. All of them.

Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.