Quotes About Wit

Listeria, wisteria. Ha. Funny words. She

The great artifice of regarding small deviations from the truth as being the truth itself is at the same time the foundation of wit, where the whole thing would often collapse if we were to regard these deviations in a spirit of philosophical rigor.

Are those cat hairs on your lapel, or have you been dating a blonde with a crew cut?

I'd rather get eaten by an epileptic shark.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

A village somewhere was missing it's idiot.

There was one good side to my male relations. Since they were married to my sisters, they had all learned to be swiftly subdued by sarcasm.

I'm not short. I'm…vertically disadvantaged.

Bad divorce?" Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip. "No, the divorce was great," I said. "It was the marriage that sucked.

Believe me, when my 'personal endowments' are being discussed, I always pay attention." ~ Cam Rohan

I suppose when you say you slept with him, it was more than just a nap?" Lillian shot her a withering glance. "Daisy, don't be a pea wit.

I like that word," Pandora mused. "Strumpet. It sounds like a saucy musical instrument." "It

Good God-is there nothing you won't stoop to?" "If there is," Lillian replied smartly, "I haven't discovered it yet.

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it.

It's a form of mental and verbal gymnastics, and one of the things that appeals to me most about commenting on darts is that no one knows exactly what I'm going to come out with next - and neither do I.

My father is very dry and very quick-witted, and my mother is very silly. It was the perfect combination because I got an education in physical and verbal comedy.

George Lopez is always on the verge of hilarity. If he could ever think of something funny to say, if he had a funny thought in his mind, he's ready to go.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

You even called me stupid in your verse, and I'm almost agreeing, for where stupidity is involved, you are quite an expert, friend.

If there really is a God, which is, at very best, extremely debatable, he has a terrible sense of humor. Because the detective in charge of deciphering the carnage is Detective Anderson, a man who has lived his life without making a friend of intelligence, wit, or competence. And

Not always. Sometimes it's ass," Vince said, cleverly bringing ass back into the conversation one more time. I began to wonder if there was a hidden camera, with a smirking game-show host handing out a prize every time we used the word.

He nodded. "I asked around about you," he said. "They all told me, 'Dexter does doughnuts.' Ã¢â'¬Â And he grinned at me as if alliteration was some kind of wonderfully clever form of wit.

This man's suit has a life of its own. It sparkles with vitality and wit, and seems to glow with the same perfect health as the man wearing it. This suit is the kind of thing ambitious tailors dream of making when they hear that royalty is in town.

Washington had little use for that kind of humor, had learned in the war with the French that the men with the quickest wit around the campfire rarely made a solid impression in a fight.