Quotes About Wit

JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court? MAE WEST: I was doin' my best to hide it.

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

You're an asshole, you know that?' I asked him. It figured he would pick today to be funny and personable, but I wasn't in the mood. He smiled. 'I know. I work really hard at it.

That was sarcasm. I cannot read tea leaves. I mean, not unless someone lines them up in the shapes of letters.)

I loaded on enough sarcasm to clog up a black hole.

A subtle-witted man is like an arrow, which, rending little surface, enters deeply, but they whose minds are dull resemble stones dashing with clumsy force, but never piercing.

To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.

C'est sidérant ! Comment fais-tu pour lire autant et rester aussi con ? - Hé hé ! C'est là tout mon génie !

Three-quarters of the expenditure of wit and the lies told out of vanity that have been squandered since the world began by people who in doing so merely diminish themselves have been squandered on inferiors.

You have no idea how difficult it was for me to not say, 'Welcome to Jurassic Park!' to all of you just now.

The failure mode of clever is 'asshole.

You know," I said, "I've been trying to make jokes to you the entire time I've been here." "I know," she said. "I'm sorry. My sense of humor was surgically removed as a child." "Oh," I said. "That was a joke

It was her habit to build up laughter out of inadequate materials.

I have a lot of faith in the power of joking to make something thoughtful.

Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer.

'Family Guy' is relentlessly excellent.

It appears there's a little too much chlorine in their gene pool.

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

SPIDER: I guess you've got a point. RAYNIEDAY: No, I've got a stake, LOL.

I used to always crack jokes in class. I was a good liar and a good talker. I was just good. I was my father's son. I was slick. When it comes to knowing what to say, to charm, I always had it.

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

My father liked to moralize, and so do I. But he was in earnest, while I am embarrassed and pretend that I am merely being witty.