Quotes About Wit

Don't put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record

While the laughter of joy is in full harmony with our deeper life, the laughter of amusement should be kept apart from it. The danger is too great of thus learning to look at solemn things in a spirit of mockery, and to seek in them opportunities for exercising wit.

Moral sentences appear ostentatious and tumid, when they have no greater occasions than the journey of a wit to his home town: yet such pleasures and such pains make up the general mass of life; and as nothing is little to him that feels it with gre

When life knocks you down...Calmly get back up, smile, and very politely say, 'You hit like a bi....'

Are Luisa and Valerie back?" "This afternoon, commercial flight. Luisa wanted to know, and I quote, 'whose nutsack she needs to gargle' to score a seat on the jet next time." "Woman has a way with words.

Marriage is the grave or tomb of wit.

Elizabeth Truss and Nadine Dorris walked into a bar, the IQ of the bar was greatly diminished by this.

Albert Campion: 'I'm serious!' Lugg: 'That's unhealthy in itself.

I crave the gift of recreational shallowness. The trick of knowing when to be cleverly trivial, lightweight; when to avoid emotional excess.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

He feared snakes, and tamed Pharaoh's rat, the rust- backed mongoose. No bust of it was made, but there was pleasure for the rat. Its restlessness was its excellence; it was praised for its wit; and the jerboa, like it, a small desert rat, and not famous, that lives without water, has happiness.

Dorothy Parker once said: I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid." Upon delivering this Dot bon mot, with much waving of sparkly rings and jingly bracelets, Constance Langtry comments that she'd add a fourth: "Deft tongue. And I don't mean a good talker.

Ian was the kind of smart that makes your straight A student look like she'd drown in a wet paper bag. Ian was the kind of smart that scares people.

I did not want to appear before the world as pathetic, deprssed, and psychologically ill. So I erected a barrier of words and wit around myself, so that nobody could see how needy I really was.

Accidentally consumed five biscuits when I wasn't paying attention. Those biscuits are wily fellows - they leap in like sugary ninjas

She had...the glimmerings of a sense of humour - which is simply another name for a sense of the fitness of things.

Said Aristotle unto Plato, 'Have another sweet potato?' Said Plato unto Aristotle, 'Thank you, I prefer the bottle.'

Who's your fat friend ?

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

Someone said to me, "How's your rabbit food?" I said, "Fine." ... "How's your vulture food?"

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is, that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool.