Quotes About Wit

Who would not give up wit for power and beauty?

Being stupid has its upsides.

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

When you say a friend has a sense of humor do you mean that he makes you laugh, or that he can make you laugh?

When the government designates as punishable all play of mind against the state, the moderate liberals come and opine that fun, satire, wit, humor, etc., must have free play anyhow, and genius must enjoy freedom. So not the individual man indeed, but still genius , is to be free. Here the state, or in its name the government, says with perfect right: He who is not for me is against me.

Lucy, why don't you go to the folly and see if perhaps there is a rake we might use to retrieve the bonnet," Charlotte suggested. She could not help but smirk at her own wit. Lucy would think the rake would refer to a garden implement, when actually Charlotte meant James.

I consider myself to have a decent sense of humor. What's life without a sense of humor?

Dr. Paul: Get out, get out libidinous swine! And take that painted strumpet with you. May you both rot in the filth of your own fornication! Nicky: And what did you say to him? Dr. Paul: Say, Madam? I said nothing. I simply pulled up my tights and jumped out of the bathroom window. Nicky: Oh Dr. Paul, you're so naughty! Dr. Paul: Well, I try, Madam. And then, ten minutes later when I've got my breath back, I try again!

Quick-wittedness can be very lonely.

You might even envy us—him for all the power vacuum-packed within his bulky, shopworn body, and me for my twenty-four-hour access to it, as though a famous and brilliant writer-husband is a convenience store for his wife, a place she can dip into anytime for a Big Gulp of astonishing intellect and wit and excitement.

I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.

they "come to the business of life & the application of knowledge they find that they are inferior—& all their studies have not given them that practical good sense & mother wisdom & wit which grew up with our grandmothers at the spinning wheel,

He's got a pointy bald head, and too much flesh hanging around his neck. The resulting combination gives him an unlikely yet striking resemblance to an uncircumcised penis. I secretly call him Rumpelforeskin.

I am fluent in snark. Bethany only notices snark when snark grabs her off the sidewalk, throws her in the back of a sketchy van with tinted windows, drives to the middle of the Meadow-lands in the dead of night, and uses a heavy blunt instrument to smack her repeatedly about the head as it screams, "I'M SNARK. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I'M SNARKY SNARKY SNARK!" And even then she's like, "Ohhhh? Snark? Is that you?

Water jokes about the obstacles on its way; wise man jokes about the obstacles on his way!

Good taste is the enemy of comedy.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality.

My wit is often characterized as being Jewish comedy. Occasionally, that's true. But for the most part to characterize my humor as purely Jewish humor is not accurate. It's really New York humor. New York humor is not just Jewish humor. It has a certain rhythm. It has a certain intensity and a certain pulse.

She asked me what type of contraceptive I use. Underwear. Keeping it on prevents pregnancy.

the greatest weapon against big stupid men was a sharp mind.

Hi," (cough), "my name is Jasmin Field. I'm a journalist. So don't piss me off. Ha ha. And um - well, I can't really act. Ha ha." No one laughed.

As when we gun discharge Although the bore be ne'er so large Before the flame the muzzle burst Just at the breech it flashes first; So from my lord his passion broke, He farted first and then he spoke. [Swift]