Quotes About Wit

Women are strange and incomprehensible, a device invented by Providence to keep the wit of man well sharpened by constant employment

I haven't had that many women - only as many as I could lay my hands on.

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

you persist in playing the role of a spoiled, petulant debutante without the wit to realize your every action has a consequence.

I only told you about it because I thought I might get a laugh out of you for once even if it wasn't the truth, Jessie. Things don't have to be true to talk about 'em, you know.

There's a fine line between funny and annoying – and it's exactly the width of a quotation mark.

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.

My old mum always said, if brains was gunpowder he couldn't blow his fucking eyebrows off.

Mi piace. Quando parlo con te mi sembra di essere più intelligente. Mi costringi a pensare.» «Pensare è una bella cosa» ha osservato Uman. «Pensare ci piace.» Quello che avevo detto era vero. Tutte le volte che ero con lui mi sentivo più intelligente, più acuta, più spiritosa. Mi sentivo tirata al limite. Le nostre conversazioni erano casuali, ma sotto la superficie ribolliva sempre qualcosa. Un «sottotesto», lo avrebbe probabilmente definito Uman.

According to Suetonius, Vespasian continued his down-to-earth line in self-deprecating wit right up until his last words: 'Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god …' The whole process of becoming, or not becoming, a god is the theme of a long skit probably written in the mid 50s CE by Lucius Annaeus Seneca

According to Suetonius, Vespasian continued his down-to-earth line in self-deprecating wit right up until his last words: 'Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god …

The man had the intelligence of the average fence post, the personality of a wounded warthog, and the stubbornness of a flea-bitten mule. Grace silently apologized to all the animals she'd just insulted.

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

I'm no syllogism incarnate, but my wife makes me look like Immanuel Kant.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Humor is a rubber sword--it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art.

the classic put-down to a chatty barber: "How do you like your hair cut, sir?" "In silence.

whose brain was no bigger than a medium-sized walnut,

The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.