Quotes About Wit

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

As soon as somebody falls in love, all the wits seem to dribble out of the bottom of his head.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

I love playing people who don't have a sense of humor for instance, there's nothing funnier to me than a person with no sense of humor.

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way.

I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.

he was the proud owner of a quite colossal member, which on the many awestruck occasions it had been exposed to public view had been compared variously to a giant frankfurter, an overfed python, a length of led piping, the trunk of a rogue elephant, a barrage balloon, an airport-sized Toblerone and a roll of wet wallpaper.

Listen Charles, if blondes were poison, I'd have died thirty years ago.

There are also several notes in your file suggesting that you are a world-class smartass." "Really? You mean I made it through the nationals?" "And you apparently think you're hilarious." "You're saying I'm not?

A dozen more questions occurred to me. Not to mention twenty-two possible solutions to each one, sixteen resulting hypotheses and counter-theorems, eight abstract speculations, a quadrilateral equation, two axioms, and a limerick. That's raw intelligence for you.

Don't set your wit against a child.

'Tis an old maxim in the schools,That flattery's the food of fools;Yet now and then your men of witWill condescend to take a bit.

...have the same Use with Burning-Glasses, to collect the diffus'd Rays of Wit and Learning in Authors, and make them point with Warmth and Quickness upon the Reader's Imagination.

For conversation well endu'd;She calls it witty to be rude;And, placing raillery in railing,Will tell aloud your greatest failing.

Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.

A lot of truth is said in jest.

I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals.

I got into a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into corners very well."

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

Many a true word is spoken in jest.