Quotes About Wit

look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it

Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it. —Jules Renard, 1890

I conclude you must be a natural horses's ass.

We have ample testimony to her sense of humor; Cleopatra was a wit and a prankster. There is no cause to question how she read Herodotus's further assertion that Egypt was a country in which "the women urinate standing up, the men sitting down.

You know, Michael, it's not absolutely true in every case that nobody likes a smart ass.

Surely she had endured enough for one evening without having to listen to intelligent conversation?

Flora sighed. It was curious that persons who lived what the novelists called a rich emotional life always seemed to be a bit slow on the uptake.

He was, she reflected, almost rudely like a tortoise; and she was glad her friend kept none as pets or they might have suspected mockery.

This is the way I think the world will end—with general giggling by all the witty heads, who think it is a joke.' Kierkegaard.

Look, I've got nothing against brains. Some of my best friends have them.

If you're saying farewell to your arms, what do you use to wave goodbye?

I shall sustain a massive erection, that's what, and I shan't be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself.

Madam, I have been looking for a person who disliked gravy all my life; let us swear eternal friendship'.

Late, Fry?' 'Really, sir? So am I.' 'Don't try to be clever, boy.' 'Very good, sir. How stupid would you like me to be? Very stupid or only slightly stupid?

I like to think of this little [newspaper] column as a brassière, or do I mean brasserie? Brazier, possibly. All three! A column that lifts, separates, supports, serves excellent cappuccino and crackles merrily with sweet-smelling old chestnuts.

to some accounts, a journalist told Eddington in the early 1920s that he had heard there were only three people in the world who understood general relativity. Eddington paused, then replied, "I am trying to think who the third person is.")

They were eyes made for laughter, but not raucous yuks; rather, for the laughter of wit, of erudition, of the bon mot.

I'm far too intelligent to be brave, thank you very much.

A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean.

maybe the world needs a cadre of smartasses to liven things up, who knows?

Your Plan and the stuff that comes out of my asshole bear a suspicious resemblance to each other.

We can always lace a sense of humor around anything.

If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke.