Quotes About Reflection

So I lived alone. The first thing I did was take off my pants. Naturally.

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you're one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.

Another day gone and no jokes.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

A closed mouth catches no flies.

Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes.

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

What do gardeners do when they retire?

I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut upblah blah blah blah blaaaaah.

Oh, to be seventy again!

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn't doing what I was doing.

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading.

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?