Quotes About Mark Twain

I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.

What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.

I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.

A man once said, 'All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.' Mark Twain, you know. He had a fine mustache. Men of wisdom so often do.

Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

Experiments have determined that at the emotional level, we feel the pain of a $100 loss twice as much as we enjoy the benefit of a $100 gain. Consequently, many people once burned by a stock market loss vow to never invest in it again. As Mark Twain said, "A cat who sits on a hot stove will never sit on a hot stove again, but he will probably never sit on a cold one either.

My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

Yes, take it all around, there is quite a good deal of information in the book. I regret this very much; but really it could not be helped. -from the Prefatory

A man once said, 'All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.' Mark Twain, you know. He had a fine mustache. Men of wisdom so often do.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

Consider the flea! Incomparably the bravest of all the creatures of God, if ignorance of fear were courage.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so.

What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I must have entered a time warp or I've fallen into the Twilight Zone. Which is it? Neither. You're at the harbor in San Felipe, and you're looking at your home for the next two weeks. Good lord, an honest-to-God steamboat with a walking beam engine and side paddlewheels. I must admit it does have an air of Mark Twain about it. What do you want to bet it ferried Grant's troops across the Mississippi to Vicksburg?

It is curious — curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

...no circumstances, however dismal, will ever be considered a sufficient excuse for the admission of that last and saddest evidence of intellectual poverty, the Pun.

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

By early 1778, Voltaire was 84 and ailing, and there had even been stories that he had died. (His retort, even better than Mark Twain's similar one, was that the reports were true, only premature.)

Perhaps my favorite quote on forgiveness is from Mark Twain: "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds, on the heel that has crushed it.

Mark Twain: "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds, on the heel that has crushed it." Indeed

But I... never could make a good impromptu speech without several hours to prepare it.

Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.