Quotes About Mark Twain

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

We saw a faraway town sleeping in a valley by a winding river; and beyond it, on a hill, a vast gray fortress, with towers and turrets, the first I had ever seen, out of a picture."Bridgeport?" said I, pointing."Camelot," said he.

Custom is, to think a handsome thing in private but tame it down in the utterance.

A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title --from The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death.

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

(Twain on Cain): it was his misfortune to live in a dark age that knew not the beneficent Insanity Plea.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Mark Twain had a point when he concluded that it was not the parts of the Bible he did not understand that bothered him—but the parts he did understand!)