Quotes About Mark Twain

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

As Mark Twain observed, "Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

Suppose your were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

The solution to our water problems is more rain.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.

France had neither winter nor summer nor morals - apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion — several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.

It was a monstrous big river down there.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.