Quotes About Sarcasm

not that anyone was actually keeping one.

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]

Satire is focused bitterness.

A giggle, huh. I guess they think this is a joke," I said. "Well, I'm not laughing.

Now I must give one smirk and then we may be rational again

My dear Mr. Bennet, replied his wife, how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?" ~ Morelli

I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over.

Okay, Ranger said. We're going to walk through the room and look for this guy. Pretend I'm not here. You going to be the wind again? I asked. Ranger grinned. Wiseass.

We didn't do this sort of emotional display. We did temper and sarcasm. Anything beyond temper and sarcasm was virgin territory.

Okay," she said. "I'll go with him, but you owe me. I want one of them five-gallon jugs of rice pudding when I come

He pulled his nose out of her cleavage and turned to me. "Gaylord Brown," he said. "It's the perfect name because I'm gay and I'm brown.

Gravy isn't a food group." "Say what?

Rena squinted at me, blowing a strand of her matte black hair out of her face, exasperated. 'You get good price for that. What you saving it for, tea with little Tsarevich Alexei? They shot him in 1918.' She took the dress out of the bag, shook it and hung it back up. 'Is fact.

In America few people will trust you unless you are irreverent.

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

My name is Steven Crowder, and I happen to find blatant gayness funny. I mean really funny.

I'm a sarcastic, observational storyteller.