Quotes About Sarcasm

If our legal counsel, Bob Rutherford, works for Satan, Satan should buy Bob a better toupee.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

My sense of humor will be a ray of sunshine if our plane death-spirals into the frozen tundra

I wanted to say, with as much sarcasm as I could put into my voice, "Sir, your poem is both original and interesting, but the part that is interesting is not original, and the part that is original is not interesting." But all I said was, "Not bad, you need to work on it some more.

The spirit of sarcasm lives and thrives in the midst of universal wreck; its balls are enchanted and itself invulnerable, and it braves retaliations and reprisals because itself is a mere flash, a bodiless and magical nothing.

Nothing's amusing that isn't spiteful.

Some people don't get it when I'm being sarcastic.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

He was sarcastic and spookily smart and, on some level, basically a kind person who just needed a ton of therapy and maybe some mood-altering drugs. Something to selectively inhibit the voracious reuptake of serotonin that was obviously going on inside his skull 24-7.

He thought he saw an Elephant,That practiced on a fife:He looked again, and found it wasA letter from his wife."At length I realize," he said,"The bitterness of Life!"

Shareholder meetings are not usually the occasion for utter candor - or for that matter, arch sarcasm - by chief executives.

I have no use for Valentine's Day, with its limited menu and cramped seating.

Another one of your quippy japes?

I shopped,she said Dear God! Are you all right? Should I call for the MTs? Smartass.

Yes. Just pass me my leg will you? It's on top of the wardrobe where he threw it, and I think my right arm is leaning over by the wall. My head is in the gas oven but it will probably be all right, I'm told that green colour wears off. Unfortunately I threw my heart to the dogs. Never mind. No one will notice how much is missing from the inside, will they?

She was developing what Mom called a bit of a sarcastic streak.

Shouldn't "it works like a charm" be said about things that don't work?

Few authors are so interesting as their work - they generally reserve their wit or trenchant sarcasm for their books.

I like grown-up comedy, where it's about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes.

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

On my gravestone, I want it to say, "I told you I was sick.

Tommy If I wanted a kiss I'd call your mother.

MATTIE FAE: Sure, an auction's a fine idea— VIOLET: Some things, though, like the silver, that's worth a pretty penny. But if you like I'll sell it to you, cheaper'n I might get in an auction. BARBARA: Or you might never get around to the auction and then we can just have it for free after you die. IVY: Barbara . . .