Quotes About Sarcasm

If God hadn't meant us to hunt men, he wouldn't have given us Wonder Bras.

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?

So I want to thank the Pentagon, the Soviet Union and the military-industrial complex from the bottom of my heart. Without them, I could never have become the man I am today.

Most men have at least one redeeming feature. Finding one for Brother Rike requires a stretch. Is 'big' a redeeming feature?

I go up in the supermarkets and people always go what are you doing here and I go I'm hungry in a sarcastic but nice way just to let them know yo I'm human too man.

Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

Some people don't get it when I'm being sarcastic.

My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.

What's the difference between a hockey mom and a mass turkey-murdering machine? Looks like about 15 feet.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!

You don't like people who have money, do you? (Astrid) I'm not prejudiced against anyone, princess. I hate everyone equally. (Zarek)

He referred to me as an 'insufferable puffed-up prat'. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.

Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.

The wife's Mother said, 'When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.' I said: 'Good, I'm being buried at sea'.

My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

What do you know about music, you're not a lawyer?

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.

Raillery is a mode of speaking in favor of one's wit at the expense of one's better nature.

Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

Patriotism is a joke in the UK.

Don't tell me peace has broken out.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.