Quotes About Sarcasm

Conquered people tend to be witty.

A full glass of patience with a pinch of sarcasm is all you need to deal~

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

I love to use these phrases - 'with the greatest respect', 'in all modest', 'I humbly submit' - which in fact always imply the complete opposite.

See you in the funny papers.' Johnny Eager From all Johnny Eager - Private Eye books Johnny's favorite saying

Vice is man's nature: virtue is a habit -- or a mask. . . . The foregoing maxim shows the difference between truth and sarcasm.

Don't face up to your problems with honesty and courage. That's just crazy. You're better off burying them under an avalanche of sarcasm.

She was the perfect end to a crappy day, brusque, supercilious and precisely as pleasant as a boil on the sphincter.

Make no mistake: irony tyrannizes us.

I enjoy my pettiness with a dose of wit.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed.

Thank you God for making me an atheist.

In the next election, I'm voting for your mom to be the next God.

She laughed with thrilling scorn. "Sophisticated-God, I'm sophisticated!

There's a good sense of fun and lack of sarcasm in the Texans, maybe a little earnestness which is kind of why I found it quite Australian.

But I'll be fine. I'll be with Tod. He's a good guy, you know." He just hides it under all the sarcasm and curls.

So you're her brother? Says Linn. I guess we know who got the good genes.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.