Quotes About Sarcasm

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic.

Are you okay? Fan-fricking-tastic. Only way today could get better is if I were scheduled for an appendectomy. Without drugs. In a third-world country.

When I die, I'm going to slam into help, take off my bra, sit on Satan's lap, and say Hi, Honey, I'm home.

Hey, are you guys coming or what?" Caleb called to them from the trailhead. "Or do you need a room?" Kel looked at Ivy. "I hope you don't mind that I'm going to have to kill him. I'm sorry for your loss.

I've had a tense couple of days. And I've got to tell you, burning someone's face off sounds like a great way to relax.

There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

You don't have to make fun of it. Actually I do, I said. I make fun of almost everything.

My brother threw up his hands. What does a woman need to do, Harry? Rip her clothes off, throw herself on top of you, and shimmy while screaming, 'Do me, baby!'? he shook his head. Sometimes you're a frigging idiot.

You know, it wouldn't kill you to be a little more polite." "Why take chances," I muttered

You think you're funny." "Oh, I know I'm funny. Unappreciated, but funny.

You always a wiseass?" "No. Sometimes I'm asleep." He

You always a wiseass?" "No. Sometimes I'm asleep.

You're going to lose that hand. - I was sending it back to the kitchen anyway. I ordered it medium well.

You have to retrace your steps and see how you got to where you are, the bird said sarcastically, which, I might add, is a pretty pathetic situation.

Life sucks when your girlfriend won't!

If you give up gossip for Lent, I'm going to spend 40 straight days talking sh.. about you.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

I'm furious and cynical, nasty and sarcastic because I'm frightened, of being betrayed and crushed, disappointed and broken.

I wish I was being sarcastic but I'm not, get over it.

Time to start being all smart and stuff again...such a hassle, I'd rather be silly and sarcastic ALL the time

If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question!

Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Good Lord, I'm not the Virgin Mary. If he's got a job and a penis, he's already halfway up my scale. And I don't really care about the job.

Give me some good advice and I promise you that I will not follow it.