Quotes About Sarcasm

SPIDER: I guess you've got a point. RAYNIEDAY: No, I've got a stake, LOL.

Don't worry, " I said. "We won't be having slumber parties and spa days any time soon." "I quite like spa days.

My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.

I dont like morning people...or mornings...or people.

The things people joke about most are usually those which irritate them, but which they do not want to seem to be irritated by; there is perhaps, too, an unspoken hope of further advantage: that the person we are speaking to, hearing us admit something jokingly, will believe that it is not true.

Counsel's sarcasm is inappropriate.

Marriage is the grave or tomb of wit.

Speaking of which Ã¢â'¬Â¦ how many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" "Please." She rolled her eyes. "Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company. Old as the hills.

Yes, librarians use punctuation marks to make little emoticons, smiley and frowny faces in their correspondence, but if there were one for an ironic wink, or a sarcastic lip curl, they'd wear it out.

Humor and laughter - not necessarily derogatory derision - are my pet tools. This may come from my general philosophy of never taking the world too seriously - for fear of dying of boredom.

I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up.

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories... if you lick it.

We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.