Quotes About Sarcasm

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to cheat him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.

Yeah, that's likely," Jolie replied, her voice keen with sarcasm. "And until then, we'll count the bluebirds and rainbows shooting out of my ass.

Ginny looked at him in a puzzled way. "Are you in the habit of saying things you don't mean?" "There is a certain type of wit called sarcasm," said Lord Gerald loftily. Ginny's brow cleared. "Oh now I understand" she said. "You were just being nasty.

Cuando alguna visita le pregunta cómo se siente en la cárcel, levanta los hombros y contesta, cansada: "No hay gran diferencia con mi vida de casada".

Sometimes you're about as funny as a busted condom.

My dad used to say the best place to look for sympathy was somewhere between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

Suppose your were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much... ...Monogamy ? It's the same.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

These jokes the world plays, they're not funny at all.

I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day.

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.

Hmm... Death by mini bar, how glamorous.

Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.