Quotes from Author Unknown

Man cannot live on chocolate alone but woman sure can.

God gave the angels wings and humans chocolate.

Three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.

Rated G is nobody gets the girl. PG is the good guy gets the girl. R is the bad guy gets the girl. XXX is everybody gets the girl.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

It's not what you wear — it's how you take it off.

A nudist is simply a human being without artificial additives.

He who sleeps in the raw, is in for a nude awakening.

Collect moments, not things.

Worry is wasting today's time cluttering up tomorrow's opportunities with yesterday's troubles.

Stuffocation: being overwhelmed by the stuff one has bought or accumulated.

A morning without coffee is like sleep.

Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee.

Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.

I bought a decaffeinated coffee table — you can't even see a difference.

Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.

Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin!

Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.

Don't drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.

Be a coffee-drinking individual — espresso yourself!

I make serious coffee — so strong it wakes up the neighbors.

In America you can buy bucket-sized cups of coffee in any flavor you like other than coffee-flavor.

A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.