Quotes from Author Unknown

Don't anthropomorphize computers — they hate it.

I wish life had an Undo function.

A picture is worth a thousand words but it takes 3,000 times the disk space.

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.

If it draws blood, it's hardware.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.

My computer kept beating the pants off me at chess, until I discovered that it was no match against me at kickboxing.

Hooked on Internet? Help is a just a click away.

What do you call a doctor that fixes websites? A URLologist.

What boots up must come down.

It's not a bug — it's an undocumented feature.

The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory, in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system. "But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." —Matthew 5:37

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes… oh, wait a minute, he already does.

Why did the programmer cross the road? To get coffee — why else would one be outside?

Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path.

Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.

Before you can break out of prison, you must first realize you're locked up.

If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got.

He who buys what he does not need steals from himself.

I'd consider being a farmer. As long as I could live on the Pepperidge Farm. And raise Milanos.