Quotes from Internet meme

Give someone a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

I wasted another year of my life but this time it's not my fault.

Kids in the future will have to endure an entire school year of History class devoted just to the year 2020.

I need to get my life together, but I'm kinda waiting to see if the world is gonna end before I put in any real effort.

It's no longer 5:00 somewhere — it's 2020 everywhere. Drink up!

Dear 2020: Could you please stop trying to kill us for, like, five minutes?!

2020 — waiting to see what comes up next in Apocalypse Bingo

Pickup lines of 2020 — Hey baby, let's quarantine together.

Q: If 2020 were a drink, what kind would it be? A: Colonoscopy laxative.

I can't wait until New Year's Day 2021 — then I can say hindsight really is 2020.

Life without acupuncture is pointless.

I tried acupuncture. But I didn't really get the point.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Keep calm and acupuncture on.

Cat: a-cute-puncturist.

Acupuncturist: because badass miracle worker isn't an official job title

I don't get drunk — I get awesome.

I don't always drink peppermint schnapps — but when I do, I drink it at work.

Vodka is just awesome water.

When I get mad, I stop being mad and be awesome instead.

Welcome to Arizona, where the heat is sick of the heat.

Phoenix weather forecast: Just stay inside.

Isn't the Grand Canyon just gorges?